BLOGS & RESOURCES
Reflections and Revelations
Kevin Monroe goes solo in this end-of-year episode of This Extraordinary Life. He reflects on the past 90 days of the podcast and 150 days of the This Extraordinary Life community.
You’ll hear him talk about:
The joy of being associated with gratitude.
The fallacy of perfection.
The serendipitous moments that the year 2020 has instigated.
A new project under the This Extraordinary Life banner.
Intentionality.
Kevin encourages anyone who is willing to add their take to This Extraordinary Life to call or text him at 404-713-0713 or send their suggestions to kevin@thisextraordinarylife.com
Resources
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
Reach out to Kevin at 404-713-0713 to find out more about his newest project!
Belonging at Work with Paul Haury
Today’s guest is Paul Haury, a self-proclaimed Belonging Coach, and Evangelist for heart-based leadership in workplace culture and happiness. He is the founder of Heart Based Leading, a coaching and consulting service dedicated to making workplaces happy, healthy, and fun in order to perform better.
This week’s theme is about belonging. As most of us spend most of our time at work, our experiences there have the potential to impact all other aspects of our lives. When you belong at your workplace, it improves your quality of life. You go home happy which encourages a happy and healthy home atmosphere; this then enables you to go to work happy and healthy, and the cycle continues.
You’ll hear Paul and Kevin Monroe talk about:
What happens when teamwork, love, and the environment work together in harmony.
The misconceptions surrounding leadership from the heart.
How belonging is more than just a feeling.
What true courage is about.
The full value of belonging.
Paul stays for the Community Magic segment and shares his experiences with belonging in the This ExtraOrdinary Life community.
Resources
Paul Haury on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: paul@heartbasedleading.com
Call or text Paul at +206-714-6113
The Joy of Synchronicity with Theo Prodromitis
This week’s guest is Theo Prodromitis. Theo is a keynote speaker, Amazon Entrepreneur and Marketing Strategist, and the author of The Balance Between Hustle and Flow.
Her work is motivated by philotimo, a Greek personal and cultural imperative that life has a deeper meaning through larger contributions, to honor your God-given gifts by improving the lives of others.
This week’s episode is all about balance and energy. Theo and Kevin talk about the different ways energy shows up in our lives and how to balance the different kinds we experience to be happier and more fulfilled, and ultimately able to do more for others.
Some of the topics they explored are:
The importance of family, history, and culture - and how they shape us.
How ideas take work - even inspired ones. Pairing hustle with flow can make all the difference in how you approach things.
Presence - being present is the ability to suspend the chatter in your mind. This is a gift you can give to the people you spend time with.
You are the curator of your own life and can make space for what you want to have in it. This is true for people, projects, energy, and emotions.
The importance, and sometimes the difficulty, of being kind to yourself, and the micro strategies you can use to do so.
This week’s community magic - we have another wonderful thought from Theo.
Exploring Emotional Intelligence with Marc Brackett
Today’s guest is Marc Brackett, the Founder and Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and the author of Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive. He is a lecturer in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, with a Ph.D. in Personality and Social Psychology.
This week’s theme explores emotions. Emotions carry over into every aspect of our lives, from decision-making to relationships and our mental and physical health. Emotions also fuel the creative process. Developing emotional intelligence unlocks untapped potential and has the power to change our whole lives.
You’ll hear Marc and Kevin Monroe discuss:
The effect that emotions have on our personal and professional lives.
Why there is no such thing as a ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ emotion.
There’s no correlation between your inclination to experience strong emotions and your skill in managing them.
How community affects the individual.
Why it’s important to identify which emotions are best suited for different tasks.
Arlene Mendoza of the This ExtraOrdinary Life community talks about emotional language.
Resources
Marc Brackett on LinkedIn
The Hospitable Leader with Terry Smith
Today’s guest is Terry Smith, the lead pastor of The Life Christian Church (TLCC), a nondenominational faith community known for its diversity and robust leadership culture. Terry is the co-founder of the New York City Leadership Center, a speaker, and an author. He is a firm advocate for incorporating hospitality into leadership.
The theme of this week’s episode is hospitality. When we say hospitality, we don’t mean how to set a table; it’s about creating a genuinely welcoming climate in an organization. When you create an environment that is truly welcoming to a diverse group of people, you have amazing potential to combat the difficulties of the world today.
You’ll hear Terry and Kevin Monroe talk about:
How hospitality combats polarization.
The five welcomes of hospitable leadership.
Hospitality and belonging.
How hospitality intersects with diversification and inclusivity.
What it takes to be hospitable.
Kat Haste, the resident artist for the Gratitude Challenge, shares what excites her most about creating art that inspires gratitude.
Kevin and Kat are proud to announce the unveiling of a new facet of the Gratitude Challenge: the Gratitude Challenge Card Deck! This deck consists of 54 prompts in a lovely gift box sized for your convenience to use anywhere at any time you wish.
Resources
Terry Smith on Twitter | Facebook | Instagram
The Hospitable Leader: Create Environments Where People and Dreams Can Flourish
The Power of Intention with Lorin Beller
Today’s guest is Lorin Beller, a business and life strategist and the owner of Lorin Beller & Co. Lorin is dedicated to supporting entrepreneurs and helping them grow their businesses, build powerful partnerships, and become extraordinary leaders. She has been empowering entrepreneurs since 2001, providing exceptional coaching and training to help them achieve their goals. Lorin is also the founder of Change Maker Nation, an intention-driven community committed to making a difference, one intention at a time.
This week, we explore the theme of intention, a concept that is often misunderstood. Intention is energy: living intentionally shortens the amount of time one gets thrown off course. Choosing to live intentionally gives you more options for how to go about life. It takes practice and is a conscious choice you have to make every day.
You’ll hear her and Kevin Monroe discuss:
- The connection between intentionality and serendipity.
- What success really means.
- The disciplines of focusing on one thing.
- The definition of intention.
- How intentionality impacts your life.
Kevin Monroe reflects on the impact that the This Extraordinary Life community has had on his life so far.
Resources
Lorin Beller on LinkedIn | TwitterLorinBeller.com | ChangeMakerNation.com
Making Ripples with Kindness with Emma Lloyd and Joanna Suvarna
Today’s guests are Emma Lloyd and Joanna Suvarna. Emma is the Head of Experience at MB People and the Global Facilitator, Director, Coach and Director at Create the Ripple Ltd. Joanna is a voluntary Ambassador for BulliesOut, a voluntary Learning Community Champion at CIPD, and the Founder of the ‘Be The Ripple’ movement. Dubbed ‘Kindness Champions’ by Kevin Monroe, they both embody the spirit of compassion and possess a passion for making a difference through other people.
This week’s theme is kindness, and why we need it. Kindness is bigger than just being kind; it involves being your authentic self, warmth, depth, and empathy. Kindness is not a soft skill. Though society sees kindness as a weakness, it requires immense strength.
You’ll hear them and Kevin Monroe discuss:
- What kindness means to them.
- Instances where they were recipients of kind acts.
- Why we should be kinder to ourselves.
- The correlation between kindness and gratitude.
- Overcoming your negativity bias.
Sarah Radican of the This Extraordinary Life community returns to share more thoughts about community and belonging.
Resources
Emma Lloyd on LinkedIn | Twitter
Joanna Suvarna on LinkedIn | Twitter
The Benefits of Belonging with Nilofer Merchant
Today’s guest is Nilofer Merchant, a speaker at Speaker’s Spotlight and a former writer for Harvard Business Review. She is the author of the critically-acclaimed book “The Power of Onlyness,” and was ranked number 1 by Thinkers 50 as the Most Likely Person to Influence the Future of Management.
The theme of this week’s episode is belonging, and how it impacts your life both personally and professionally. Onlyness is the experience, purpose, talent and perspective that lies untapped within every person. Feeling a sense of belonging is key to untapping the potential of your employees.
You’ll hear her and Kevin Monroe talk about:
- What onlyness means.
- The power of questions.
- The importance of choosing your friends wisely.
- What belonging feels like.
- Defining your identity.
Linda Simpson of the This Extraordinary Life community shares past experiences with belonging at work.
Resources
Nilofer Merchant on LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram
Call or text Nilofer: 404-713-0713
Join Nilofer on a journey to change the workplace at @work.
Building Constructive Communities with Technology with Gina Bianchini
Today’s guest is Gina Bianchini, the co-founder and CEO of Mighty Networks, the software that powers the online home of This Extraordinary Life. Mighty Networks is a website-building platform with a mission to pilot a new generation of creative business founded on community. It provides creators with the tools they need to create their brand and business.
The theme of this week’s episode is the intersection of modern technology and social networks. Software has a generative ability to unlock positive, constructive relationships and build deeper connections. Additionally, creator-led communities present us with the opportunity to redefine success.
You’ll hear Gina and Kevin Monroe talk about:
- The origins of Mighty Networks.
- The role of software in facilitating community and connection.
- The keys to a flourishing online community.
- How software has been weaponized to destroy rather than construct.
- How community is more than just having commonalities.
Sarah Ratekin of the This Extraordinary Life community shares thoughts and reflections about community.
Resources
Gina Bianchini on LinkedIn | Twitter
A Conversation About Conversations with Jeff Durso
Today’s guest is Jeff Durso, a serial entrepreneur with more than 15 launches. He is the co-founder of Blitzr. He is also the President of Native Britain, the parent company of an e-learning application for mathematics with almost 600,000 learners. Jeff’s experience with entrepreneurship enables him to help visionaries turn big ideas into high-growth opportunities.
The theme of this week’s show is that conversation begets connection, and connection begets community. Our conversations have the potential to be profound and life-changing in the simplest of ways. Within the last 50 years our means of communication have advanced tremendously; this enables us to have more conversation, make more connections, and build more communities.
In this episode you’ll hear him and Kevin Monroe discuss:
- The definition of conversation.
- Serendipitous encounters.
- How to replace expectation with anticipation.
- Blitzr, an online platform that lets you interact with and have stimulating conversations with new people.
- Practical steps one can take to create better conversations with those we’re distanced from.
Hedden of the This Extraordinary Life community talks about his experiences with conversations and how they led him into the extraordinary.
Resources
Jeff Durso on LinkedIn | Twitter
Blitzr.com
Jeff and Kevin are extending an invite to listeners to join a Blitz with them! Visit the website to learn more.
The Art of Listening with Jane Adshead-Grant and Oscar Trimboli
Today’s guests are Jane Adshead-Grant and Oscar Trimboli, who are both long-time friends of host Kevin Monroe. Jane Adshead-Grant is an author, speaker, and Master Certified Coach and Facilitator at Ashvale Consultancy Ltd. Oscar Trimboli is the Head of Coaching Faculty at The Marketing Academy Australia and a speaker, author, and mentor at Oscar Trimboli Pty Ltd. They have, collectively, more than half a century of extensive experience in leadership, coaching, and mentoring.
Listening is the willingness to have your mind changed, and the difference between hearing and listening is the action we take. Kevin and his guests explore the concept of active listening with the intent to understand and act, not just to respond. What’s the role of a listener, and how can we be a better one?
They’ll share:
- The difference between hearing and listening.
- How the state of listening has changed during the current pandemic.
- Ways to address interruptions or distractions.
- How to be an ear of reason in a global crisis.
- How to create a listening environment.
Scott James of the This Extraordinary Life community touches on how today’s guests have impacted him along his personal and professional journey.
Resources
Jane Adshead-Grant on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: jane@ashvaleconsultancy.com
Oscar Trimboli on LinkedIn | Twitter
Close Encounters of the Extraordinary Kind
Kevin Monroe talks to listeners about the transformative power of conversations and community in this second episode of This Extraordinary Life. He shares instances in which a conversation turned an ordinary transaction into an extraordinary encounter.
You’ll hear him talk about:
- The impact that community has on your life.
- How to humanize transactional interactions.
- His encounter with Congressman John Lewis.
- How a simple decision gave him the opportunity to witness the history lesson of a lifetime.
- A truly extraordinary connection between two of his friends, Arlene Mendoza and Jason Meucci.
Resources
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
The Power of Gratitude with Steve Foran and Lilian Jans Beken
One of today's guests is Steve Foran, the founder and CEO of Gratitude At Work, and the Forum Chair at MacKay CEO Forums. Steve’s mission is to shift corporate culture by helping companies bring gratitude to work each day. He’s accompanied by Lilian Jans Beken, who is a speaker, writer, researcher, and the founder and CEO of the Thriving Human Science Center. Lilian is often referred to as Dr. Gratitude because of her PhD in positive psychology. They both feature as the first guest speakers on this pilot episode of This Extraordinary Life.
Being extraordinary and living an extraordinary life is a matter of choice and not chance. You already have everything you need to live this extraordinary life. In this exciting new podcast, Kevin Monroe provides listeners with the tools to maximize their life’s full potential by having stimulating, insightful conversations with highly successful professionals in various industries.
You’ll hear Kevin chat with Steve and Lilian about:
- What gratitude means to them.
- How gratitude helps you cope with difficult situations.
- How gratitude affects your perspective.
- The physiological benefits of practicing gratitude.
- How we can dig deep to find gratitude when it seems impossible.
Sandy Anderson and Rachel Drukenmiller of the This Extraordinary Life community share stories of how gratitude has recently impacted their lives.
Resources
Steve Foran on LinkedIn | Twitter
Lilian Jans Beken on LinkedIn | Twitter
The Final Episode
The Higher Purpose Podcast is being rebranded and refocused into the This Extraordinary Life Podcast. As part of the transition, we are replaying some of the episodes that have resonated deeply with Kevin and you, the audience. In this final episode - a replay of Episode 3 - Kevin thanks listeners for tuning in to the Higher Purpose Podcast as he wraps up the series. He shares a story about three allies in his quest to a higher purpose and expresses his gratitude for their impact in his life.
One of the themes that we are going to be returning to again and again is the idea of the 7 people who enter your life and make a huge impact on your journey to finding your purpose.
There are certain people who you will meet in your life, who are going to make a huge difference for you in different ways. They will impact how you think and feel, and what you do.
These people may appear once in a lifetime, or regularly. They may be in your life for a long time, or for only a brief window – no matter what kind of relationship you have with them – they are going to matter.
Here’s a quick list of the roles these people play in your life:
- Awakener – who alerts you to your purpose
- Doubter – who questions your worth
- Encourager – who encourages and has confidence in you
- Hero – who inspires and models greatness
- Mentor – who you have a close and trusting relationship with
- Critic – who thwarts your progress
- Ally – who supports and helps you
Even though some of these people can cause you pain – they are ALL instructive and necessary to help you connect with your purpose. For those that bring you comfort and joy – tell them!
Resources
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: kevin@higherpurposepodcast.com
Call or text Kevin: 678-744-5111Join the community: KevinDMonroe.com/decade
The Power of Self-Compassion with Laurie Cameron
The Higher Purpose Podcast is being rebranded and refocused into the This Extraordinary Life Podcast. As part of the transition, we are replaying some of the episodes that have resonated deeply with Kevin and you, the audience. This week’s replay is Episode 134 with Laurie Cameron.
Laurie Cameron, founder of PurposeBlue and bestselling author of The Power of Self-Compassion, talks with Kevin Monroe about the benefits of mindfulness and the journey to self-compassion, as well as the hurdles one might come across on that journey.
The Inner Critic
Laurie shares a disheartening experience with someone in which her trust was broken. Her first thought was critical of herself and the red flags she ignored: her “inner critic” had reared its head. The inner critic is part of our biology and is there to protect us to ensure we survive both physically and emotionally, Laurie says. The first step in practicing self-compassion is not ignoring the inner critic, but acknowledging it and moving past the cognitive analysis of the hurtful event.
Shifting Your Perspective
Laurie communicates that some of our feelings of being hurt are due to a narrative that we tell ourselves. Mindfulness training helps you to observe your narratives, and analyze how you interpret others’ actions and intentions. Only then would you be able to shift your perspective to objectively understand your situation and avoid miscommunication.
Touch as Self Care
Kevin quotes from Laurie’s book, “Touch activates the physiology of care,” and comments that he hadn’t considered an individual’s touch to themselves falling under that category. He now realizes that you can apply the physiology of care to yourself. Laurie adds that the tool of touch is one of many approaches to practicing self-compassion and is a primal development of our biology.
I’m Not That Voice
We’re born with a negativity bias that has good intentions - to protect us - but is counterproductive as it creates a fixed mindset which is demotivating and stunts growth. The voice may be more dominant in individuals conditioned to be critical. We may associate our identity with that negative inner voice instead of seeing certain behaviors and patterns as transient. Thankfully, Laurie conveys, we can recondition or unlearn the negative voice and relearn a positive voice.
Self-Compassion is Not Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is tied to ranking, rating, and comparison to others. Comparison has caused much emotional suffering and loneliness in society. On the other hand, self-compassion has nothing to do with metrics; it’s all about how we see and treat ourselves in the moment. Laurie offers some insight and practical tips on how to practice self-compassion. She hopes that people can engage in mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-acceptance. Mindfulness is accepting that life is messy and mistakes are normal, she adds. It’s the practice of accepting what is and amplifying the good.
Resources
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: kevin@higherpurposepodcast.com
Call or text Kevin: 678-744-5111Join the community: KevinDMonroe.com/decade
Are You Listening? with Jane Adshead-Grant
The Higher Purpose Podcast is being rebranded and refocused into the This Extraordinary Life Podcast. As part of the transition, we are replaying some of the episodes that have resonated deeply with Kevin and you, the audience. This week we are revisiting Episode 117 with Jane Adshead-Grant.
Executive coach and author of Are You Listening or Just Waiting to Speak, Jane Adshead-Grant is the guest on today’s show. She shares deep insights about listening with host Kevin Monroe, including why she discourages note-taking during conversations.
Don’t Take Notes
Kevin often creates some questions to ask podcast guests as a springboard to their conversation. While they are speaking, he jots down notes so that he remembers important points or ideas he wants to revisit. Jane discourages this practice. She says that instead of taking notes, he should trust himself. When you listen deeply, you’re allowing the speaker to continue to think and speak at their very best. You will remember the essential elements of what they said, she assures Kevin. To listen deeply, you must first be at ease with yourself as the listener; you must know that both speaker and listener have equal capacity to think, listen and share; and you must appreciate each other for the qualities that you see in one another.
The Gift of Time
Kevin asks what listeners can do to be more present in the conversation. Jane advises them to give themselves the gift of this time, free from judgment, distraction, and interruption. Distraction can be both internal and external, she says. An example of internal distraction is when your mind wanders; she advises that you should mentally check yourself when this happens and bring your focus back to the conversation. The most common external distraction is the phone: just put it on silent. When you actively give your attention - paying attention is more passive and reactive, Jane says - you’re giving respect to the other person. You’re saying that in this moment they are more important than anything else.
Let Silence Do the Heavy Lifting
Jane writes in her book that we should let silence do the heavy lifting. Kevin asks her to unpack that statement. She explains that people need time to process questions or information. Giving them the opportunity to pause while they process their thoughts is a real gift. Humans think in waves and pauses: we have a wave of thinking, and then we naturally pause. If we allow that silence for long enough, the brain itself will soar once more in a new way, Jane says.
Don’t Interrupt
The brain receives an interruption like an assault, Jane reveals. One of the greatest things we can do is resist the urge to interrupt and allow the person to complete their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Interrupting prevents the person from flourishing into who they are meant to become. If you absolutely must interrupt, you should do it as gracefully as possible, while the person takes a pause. If you inadvertently interrupt someone, apologize.
Listening is a Gift
Jane reminds us that listening is a gift that is worth mastering because it shows how much you care. When you listen to someone to generate their best thinking, it frees them to be more, to create more, to feel more courageous. Whereas time is the currency of leadership, listening is the currency of relationship.
Resources
Jane on LinkedIn | Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | Instagram
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: kevin@higherpurposepodcast.com
Call or text Kevin: 678-744-5111Join the community: KevinDMonroe.com/decade
Replay: The Power of Onlyness with Nilofer Merchant
The Higher Purpose Podcast is being rebranded and refocused into the This Extraordinary Life Podcast. As part of the transition, we are replaying some of the episodes that have resonated deeply with Kevin and you, the audience. This week we are revisiting Episode 142 with Nilofer Merchant, a conversation Kevin describes as one of the most pivotal in his journey.
Nilofer Merchant is a famous author and speaker for TED Conferences. Her most recent book, The Power of Onlyness, talks about worthiness and the connected individuality of all human beings. She joins Kevin Monroe to discuss her book and how the principles in it apply to current events.
The New Normal
Nilofer talks about the things people are doing to help those in need. People now have the voice to create change, she says. She gives an example of altruism that arose due to the coronavirus, and states that society may come to the point where we realize our fates are linked rather than ranked or separated. She ponders on the possibility of the care with which we treat others and the connectivity we have established becoming the new normal. Onlyness’ role in this is to be the combination of voice and belonging that creates real change and lasting connection between people.
Making a Difference
There are people who feel like they should be doing more. Part of their struggle is that they think they need to do something of a grander scale to make a difference. All they need to do is care for the person next to them, Kevin says. He shares a story from a children’s book about contribution, explaining that even the smallest thing makes a difference. Nilofer adds that whatever you pay attention to grows, so if you focus more on having a grand plan rather than actually showing love, it’s counteractive. Center on what you know and what you can do right in the moment, and the rest will take care of itself.
Onlyness
Nilofer defines onlyness as the source of all ideas and innovation. Onlyness is contrary to the traditional hierarchy of worthy contribution, and holds an egalitarian view that everyone has something of value to add to the world. We have been conditioned to believe that our level of capability relies solely on measures such as level of education, but that is a lie, Nilofer says. For example, we now realize how dependent we are on grocery store workers, a position that has historically been considered low-skilled. They are part of a system that feeds us, which allows us to exist and do our creative work. Contribute, don’t compare.
Part of A System
When you enter a room, your light illuminates the entire space. This makes it difficult to discern your own ‘only’ because the light you shine is also the filter you see the world through. Here is where others come in to help you, as they have the perspective to see the difference in the world when you are present and absent. The meaning of individual is the smallest measure of humankind, so even alone, you are never disconnected.
Parking Your Fears
Nilofer says she has to park her fears in order to be present for a conversation. Fear always demands to be heard and gets louder the more it is ignored. She believes fear acts as a signal, like every other emotion. It doesn’t have to rule you, but you need to pay attention to it.
Hope Is A Bridge
“Hope is a thing with others that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all,” Nilofer quotes. She shares a past experience in which she thought hope was something lightweight, but now she defines it as the bridge we have to walk across in order to get to a new future. She believes that unity happens because two people are both going toward the same thing together.
Resources
Nilofer Merchant on LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
The Power of Onlyness: Make Your Wild Ideas Mighty Enough to Dent the World
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: kevin@higherpurposepodcast.com
Call or text Kevin: 678-744-5111Join the community: KevinDMonroe.com/decade
What Will it Take to Go All-in on this Extraordinary Life?
In this solo episode of the Higher Purpose Podcast, Kevin Monroe speaks to listeners about his journey during the past 5 years. He shares journal entries documenting his struggle for inspiration and creativity, and the questions which led to discoveries.
Kevin describes an interaction with a colleague that caused him to have an epiphany. After pondering about his purpose, his colleague proposed that he was already fulfilling it. He talks about playing it safe in his professional life by spreading his energy evenly into all his projects. He was “making a millimeter of progress in a million directions rather than going far in one direction.”
You already have everything you need to live this extraordinary life. Instead of framing, “What if I go all-in on this extraordinary life?” as a rhetorical or theoretical question, Kevin used it as a clarifying question for all facets of business. This prompted the rebranding of the Higher Purpose Podcast to This Extraordinary Life podcast. Kevin details the changes and new features expected to come with the rebranding.
This Extraordinary Life is expected to launch between late August and early September.
Resources
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: kevin@higherpurposepodcast.com
Call or text Kevin: 678-744-5111Join the community: KevinDMonroe.com/decade
The Extraordinary You with Emily Elrod
Emily Elrod is the President of Workzbe, an organization dedicated to helping clients create optimal environments for people to bring their authentic selves to work. She joins Kevin Monroe to discuss what makes people extraordinary, as well as how our thoughts influence our behaviors.
Everyone’s Extra
We are all ordinary people, but what sets us apart is our “extras.” Extra is defined by Emily as a gift or calling unique to each individual. Sometimes we only recognize or identify our extras when other people point them out to us. We often undervalue them because they come so easily to us that we think of them as things everyone can do. That which you are gifted to do, you do not understand; you cannot deconstruct it and teach it to other people because you do it naturally, Kevin quotes.
The Little Things
People are hung up on the idea that your extras need to be extravagant and large to set you apart, but in reality, the cumulative effect of the little things unique to you is what brings the extra to the ordinary and transcends you to extraordinary.
The Power of Thoughts and Feelings
Thoughts trigger biochemical secretions that generate emotional responses, or feelings. The nature of these thoughts, whether positive or negative, affect the subsequent emotional response. According to Emily, 97% of our decisions are made off of feelings. We like to think we are logical in our decisions making, Kevin remarks, but almost every buying decision we have ever made has been an emotional decision, which we then use logic to justify. Emily describes her background and how she learned the importance of addressing her feelings through her experiences.
Killing the ANTs
A step to breaking bad habits and behaviors is addressing our thoughts by killing the ANTs. ANTs are Automatic Negative Thoughts, which correlate to the negativity bias instilled in all of us, Emily says. Think of your automatic negative thought as an ant you need to squash. Start by acknowledging the thought, and questioning why it is there.
Failure is Not the Antithesis of Success
Failure is a process of success, Emily argues. If you don’t fail then you won’t succeed. Most of us think that success or failure is about the final outcome, Kevin adds. Rather, failure is part of the journey to success, not its antithesis.
Kevin quotes a response he received to the question of what makes life extraordinary. “For me,” he says, “it is to continue to seek and create harmony. When I am in harmony, there are four things that are aligned: what I do; what I think; what I say; and how I feel. In those moments, things flow without a sense of agitation, tension, or stress.”
Resources
Emily Elrod on LinkedIn
Email: emily@workzbe.com
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: kevin@higherpurposepodcast.com
Call or text Kevin: 678-744-5111Join the community: KevinDMonroe.com/decade
Choose Love with Lucas Skrobot
Lucas Skrobot is an author, podcaster, business owner, and the founder and host of The Lucas Skrobot Show. He joins the Higher Purpose Podcast to discuss moments, opportunities, love, and fear.
In Safe Hands
Lucas shares an experience that reminded him to not take the safety of his family for granted. He thinks about two coordinating realities every day: we are on the precipice of complete disaster and pain in our daily lives, yet there is comfort in that we are not in control and someone is always watching over us.
Hidden Extraordinary Opportunities
Ordinary events have the opportunity to be much more than just mundane moments, Kevin says. He prompts Lucas to share another experience, in which he made a choice to help someone in need even though his best interest was to carry on his way. He stepped into something extraordinary by responding to an ordinary opportunity, Kevin remarks. It was a divine appointment that, though it was planned for him, he could have elected to ignore. This is why fatalism and/or passive faith can be fatal, Lucas says. We are slothful in our hoping and expect that if something is meant to happen, it will magically manifest. He speaks about the impact that experience had on his life.
Love versus Fear or Love & Fear?
Lucas describes an experiment that sought to discover whether gain or fear was the bigger motivator, by using rats in a maze with cheese before them and the scent of a cat behind them. The results revealed that the simultaneous presence of both gain and fear motivated the rats more than just gain or just fear. Kevin references the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross on love and fear being the only two primary emotions. We often try to make binary choices, he says, as though we can shut off one or the other. If we are solely motivated by fear, then we will be reactionary in nature, Lucas adds. However fear reminds us that there is always something at stake. Furthermore, love propels us towards a goal. They can both be present at the same time.
Identity and Truth
Lucas believes the reason young people search so desperately for identity and purpose is to find freedom. Though there is agency on the outside, they don’t feel free on the inside, and so equate freedom with purpose, identity and destiny. Only the truth will set you free, he advises, and the truth is love. You don’t need to have a platform to make a monumental dent in the universe; you just need to love the people right in front of you.
Kevin urges listeners to choose to be kind and show love in a world full of choices.
Resources
Lucas Skrobot on LinkedIn | Instagram
Call or text Lucas: 202-922-0220
Kevin Monroe on LinkedIn | Twitter
Email: kevin@higherpurposepodcast.com
Call or text Kevin: 678-744-5111
Join the community: KevinDMonroe.com/decade