Struggle Can Form You: If You Let It Deepen You
A five-part reflection on struggle, leadership, and the quiet work of becoming more human under pressure.
Have you ever noticed how some people come through hard seasons different?
Not just relieved.
Different.
Quieter.
Wiser.
More patient.
Almost as if something in the struggle shaped them.
Yet other struggles seem to do the opposite.
They drain people.
Narrow them.
Leave them more guarded than before.
At first glance, those struggles can look exactly the same.
Both involve pressure.
Both involve uncertainty.
Both stretch us beyond what feels comfortable.
But over time, they shape us in very different ways.
In our conversation, Wade Mitzel (whom you met here over the last two weeks) said something that helped me see that difference more clearly than I ever had before.
“When we choose to struggle well, we don’t just endure — we grow.”
We don’t just endure.
We grow.
That sentence grabbed me.
And it’s lingered with me.
Because most of us assume the goal of difficult seasons is simply to survive them.
Push through.
Get past them.
Hold on until things improve.
But struggling well suggests something different.
That the way we carry difficulty can shape who we become.
That insight changed the way I think about struggle.
Think about the leaders who have shaped you most.
Rarely are they the ones who had the easiest path.
More often they are people who walked through difficult seasons in ways that made them more:
Present
Patient
Grounded
Human
Something in the struggle refined them.
Not perfectly.
But noticeably.
Your Calling Doesn’t Change in Hard Seasons
When Wade reflected on what this season has been teaching him, he described something deeper than resilience.
“Through the difficulties in my personal life, it allowed me to listen… to see the importance of what that mission is for me and go full force into that.
Work isn’t easy when you’re going through hard things — when you get that cancer diagnosis, when you lose a loved one — but it really focuses you on what your purpose is and where you need to put your time.
I love this quote: Even on the hardest day, your calling is unchanged, and you’re the right person for it.
These struggles come like waves… but they don’t change who we are or the purpose in our life.
It’s a hard lesson to learn. And honestly, I’m still learning it every day.”
That insight shifts the way we understand struggle.
Because the hardest seasons of life don’t just test us.
They reveal us.
They reveal where we are stretched thin.
Where our patience is fragile.
Where our priorities need reordering.
And sometimes they reveal strengths we didn’t know we carried.
Patience.
Perspective.
Compassion.
Humility.
Even gratitude.
Not gratitude for the struggle itself.
But gratitude for the meaning that can emerge within it.
This realization changes the question we ask when life becomes difficult.
Instead of asking:
How do I get through this?
We begin asking:
Who am I becoming as I carry this?
That shift is where hope begins.
Because the hardest seasons of life no longer have the final word.
They become part of the quiet work of formation.
Struggle doesn’t disappear when we acknowledge it.
But it can shape us.
Deepen us.
Clarify what matters most.
And sometimes remind us of something easy to forget.
That even on the hardest days…
our calling remains unchanged.
Some struggles don’t just test us.
They shape us.
Before moving on, sit with this question for a moment:
Where might this season of pressure be shaping you more than you realized?