Making Room For Growth

This week on the Higher Purpose Podcast, I spoke with Dan Miller, best selling Author of 48 Days to Work You Love and No More Mondays.Now, Dan Miller has always been an entrepreneur, finding and following opportunities as they presented themselves, and believes meaningful work, whether as an entrepreneur or member of a team, happens when you blend your natural skills and abilities with your dreams and passions.You can listen to the full interview here (and subscribe on iTunes or your favorite podcast player so you never miss an episode), but I want to really explore one of the ideas that Dan and I touched on during the call.If you are constantly adding and adding and adding to your business or your life – you’re never going to have the space to think, breathe and reflect on what you truly want to be doing. You’ll have no time to find your WHY. If you add and add and add to what you have to do every day, week, month and year, then at a certain point you are going to see both the quality of your life and your work degrade.And that kind of degradation is unacceptable. We want to be bringing our best selves to all of the facets of our life – our faith communities, our families, and our work. We can’t do that by consistently trying to add to our plates.Sometimes, you need to step back, and mindfully choose NOT to do things.Here’s Dan Miller’s method.Dan makes it a practice to, when the plan for the next year is finished, choosing 15% of his activities, projects, and tasks, and eliminating them. They won’t continue into the new year and are going to be either finished for good or shelved for another time. These aren’t small things, time wasters or leisure activities. They are real, significant parts of his business that he conscientiously decides to STOP doing.(Fun fact – the specific date for this decision to be made is November 14^th – 48 days before the new year Find out WHY that is significant here.)And that 15% of newly freed time and space is room to grow.Nature abhors a vacuum and will rush to fill it, but if there is no vacuum in your life or your business, then there is no room for something new and different to grow.The space created by eliminating 15% of what you are currently doing could be the ‘breathing room’ to experiment, take risksSo that is our question for this week – what would you do if you had 15% more time to do ANYTHING? And can you make that time in your life?Head on over to the Higher Purpose Community Facebook group, where we’re going to be discussing this topic, and anything else that has inspired us from the podcast this week on Thursday.In the meantime, you can listen to all of our podcast episodes, and make sure you never miss an update by subscribing to the Higher Purpose Podcast on iTunes, or your favorite podcast player. If you like what you hear, please share, and give us a rating!

HPP Episode 6 - Interview with Dan Miller

Every once in a while, when you scanning your email, there’s a subject line that jumps out at you. Even more so when it’s from someone you know, and goes against what you know about them. Today, Kevin talks with purpose-driven Dan Miller, whose headline said simply, “I’ve drifted from my why.” Discover how Dan drifted from his purpose, and how he got back on track.Listen to the Episode Now!

• Learn about how Dan realized he had become a commodity marketer instead of a coach and leader who helps people discover their own purpose, their why, and what they’re supposed to do in this life.
• Dan shares the very moment when he realized he’d gotten off track after a discussion with one of Dave Ramsey’s employees who reminded him, during a three-minute conversation, the way he used to teach.
• Do you believe that asking ‘why’ five times can get you to the heart of the matter? Dan shares how he asks the question why to find the source of a problem, and he talks about the time he turned it around on himself to challenge himself.
• Do you feel like if you get that dream job, get enough money not to worry, or achieve the station in life where you get respect you’ll be happy? This is your comfort zone, and Dan talks about how he can’t stand his own comfort zone. It’s not where he wants to live. Ask this: Why am I doing what I’m doing?
• Sometimes your drift is unnoticeable. You begin looking for external things and you begin to lose clarity. Dan teaches you how to look internally first, and how he has done the same to get back in line with his original ‘why.’
• Is it the why that changes over your life, or is it your understanding of your why that changes? Dan discusses how his own why has remained the same, and how his understanding of it has changed through his drifts and returns. He explains how he has had many iterations of reaching his why, and how he could do it as a used car salesman.
• Dan tells the story of a pastor who was mistaken in his why, and how he went from preaching in the same church for twenty plus years and is now a famous painter.
• Everyone needs a mentor. Dan shares who his mentors are, and he talks about why you don’t even need to know the person who is your mentor.

If you’re enjoying this podcast, make sure to subscribe and leave a review! Want more information? Check out the blog post!

HPP Episode 5: Interview with Paul Sohn

Paul Sohn has just released his latest bestseller, Quarter-Life Calling. Today, he joins Kevin as they discuss being driven versus being called. They also discuss what to do when you’ve reached a point in your life where you feel like you should have a calling, but don’t. Listen to the full episode here, or download it from your favorite podcast player!

• Paul talks about being vulnerable, sharing, and how it feels like getting naked. People understand it when you’re real and transparent in sharing YOUR story.
• Paul explains what a quarter life calling is – it’s a midlife crisis that happens a lot earlier. Paul shares his own quarter life crisis; he was ‘living the dream.’ But he felt miserable deep down, and it only got worse.
• Have you heard of the be-do conundrum? Are you supposed to be something, or are you supposed to do something? Paul explains the concept of the primary and secondary calling, and it’s unique and specific to each person.
• Paul explains how being and doing should affect how you live your life. Often, the first place to start is with your own health. You need energy and stamina to carry out your calling.
• Millennials are hungry for purpose; they want to be a part of something greater than themselves. When you think about the transitions they’re going through, it’s a tough time. And it’s those experiences in their 20’s that can leave them empty, or with purpose.
• Inspire, equip, and empower: Paul focuses all his efforts on this as he raises up the next generation of leaders. He talks about the organization he’s launched in his calling to help the 20-somethings.
• Kevin points at the concept that first connected him with Paul, servant leadership. For many of us to do good work, we need to do it through service to others. Paul describes how that looks in his own life.
• Despite having your life in line – your calling, your health, your purpose – you will still have off days. Paul talks about how he deals with those. He also explains how he’s changed in the way he looks at the challenges he faces.

Interested in going more in-depth with this topic? Make sure to check out the blog post on our site. Learn how to name your calling.We hope you’re enjoying the Higher Purpose Podcast. If so, consider subscribing and leaving a review! And share it with someone in your life who might need encouragement and purpose. They’ll thank you for it.

What Happens When You Name Your Calling?

This week on the Higher Purpose Podcast, I had the opportunity to speak with Paul Sohn, author of the Quarter Life Calling, and founder of QARA.We talked about what it means to have a calling, and the experiences we have in our lives as younger people inform and influence that calling - you can listen to the full interview here. Paul experienced what he calls a ‘quarter-life crisis’ when he was in his twenties. He spent a lot of time reflecting on what he was truly called to do.Through prayer and reflection, Paul left a high-paying job at a Fortune 500 company. He devoted his time and energy to help and support the next generation of leaders in the world. But it wasn’t right. He might have taken the world’s ‘right’ path to wealth and success, but it was wrong for Paul.It wasn’t his calling.Paul began to follow his true path and everything changed. It was more than how he made his living; it was his peace, satisfaction, and sense of direction. He found fulfillment in his work that didn’t exist before, because he was finally able to NAME his calling.[clickToTweet tweet="Do you know the difference between a having a calling and being driven? http://bit.ly/2wBxk5f" quote="Do you know the difference between a having a calling and being driven? "]It’s overlooked in so many discussions around purpose but there’s a simple distinction. If you are being called, someone is the caller. And that caller is God.If you want to put a name to your calling, live in a way that is mindful of God’s purpose for you and pursue that path mindfully. Paul’s realization of this allows him to help others avoid that quarter life crises and to achieve their goals and truly flourish.You might be wondering, “What if I’ve already passed the first quarter of my life?” You’ve already experienced most if not all the major milestones: marriage, moving out, going to college, starting a career. What do you do if you haven’t found YOUR calling yet?Just because you already experienced those things doesn’t mean they can’t reach across the years and touch your life now. You’ve had time to reflect and learn. You’ve gained new insights and you have the hindsight that only experience can bring. When you look back at your path and choices, you do so with clarity you couldn’t have managed back then.You can use all of this to identify, to NAME your calling, no matter what your age is.The growth (and the pain that comes with it) never stops. Neither does our ability to learn from it and discover where we are meant to be, what we are meant to be doing, and why.That’s what I want you to reflect on this week. Are you driven or are you being called? How has your path transformed who you are? Are you living in alignment with your calling?This is just a glimpse of everything we covered in the podcast. Some of the other ideas we pulled apart are:

• Looking at your habits, from nutrition to fitness, to help you better follow your calling
• How writing a book is like getting naked in front of the world
• Growing in character can be painful, so we should seek out that pain or we will never grow

You can listen to the full podcast episode here, and if you want to discuss this theme in more detail, join the Higher Purpose Facebook Community. We’ll be holding a discussion this coming Thursday! Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes - and if you like the podcast, please rate and leave us a review!

Can You Be CEO Of Your Own Family?

This post is an exploration of the ideas Mark Timm and I discussed during our conversation for the Higher Purpose Podcast, which you can listen to in full right here. If you had asked me a month ago if you could (or should!) be the CEO of your family – I might have looked at you like you were growing antlers out of the top of your head.But after a conversation with Mark Timm, CEO of the Ziglar Family Corporation – AND his family of 7 (they really are incorporated!) I have changed my mind.The idea seems really counterintuitive, doesn’t it?CEOs are tough and no-nonsense, focused on profits and growth, leading teams of hundreds (sometimes hundreds of thousands) of people to bring goods and services to market.What could that possibly have to do with your spouse and children?The idea didn’t occur to Mark either until well into his career as both a CEO and a father, but when it did – everything changed.One day, feeling a little hesitant to go into his home after work, he realized that the qualities that made him a good CEO – understanding company vision and goals, decisiveness and collaboration, ability to delegate and ideate – they weren’t restricted to professional life. You don’t have to leave the things that make you good at your job in the workplace when you go home at night. They are part of who you are – often a tremendous and powerful part of who you are.You give these important and valuable parts of yourself to your colleagues, and sometimes there isn’t a lot of you left at the end of the day when you’re going home to the people you live with.So what if you reframed how you looked at your family? More like it was a business. A business with a vision and a mission and goals and different individuals working together to achieve them.[clickToTweet tweet=" Businesses are composed of people, just like our families are. http://bit.ly/2vYIWjg " quote=" Businesses are composed of people, just like our families are."]Our family members are all unique in how they see the world, what they value, and what they want to achieve, but, much like the different individuals who make up businesses, they can be rallied around a common cause to work together and support each other.And for people who feel less comfortable navigating the dynamics of a family unit, looking at one through the lens of your personal strengths as they express themselves professionally can be a be a way to bring your best self to the people you love most your best self.Spend some time thinking about the corporation of YOUR family. Consult with them, share this idea with them, and see if you can get them on board.As a family – what is your goal? What is your mission? What values do you hold to be the most important?What unique strengths do each of you bring to the table, and how can you support each other in your weaknesses?Over in the Higher Purpose Community Facebook Group we’re having a discussion about these topics. Please come join us, and share your thoughts!Being the CEO of your family is only the tip of the iceberg of interesting, important topics that Mark and I discussed. Some of the other exciting points were:

• Being intentional with your time, energy, and decisions – especially regarding your family.
• Always apologizing authentically when you have wronged someone, or failed to do as right by them as you could – even your children.
• How the greatest joy is helping others achieve things – and other wisdom from Zig Ziglar.

Listen to the full episode here.I'd love to hear from you - what do you think about being the CEO of your own family? Leave a comment below! Next week we're talking with Paul Sohn, Author of Quarter Life Calling, and founder of QARA - make sure to subscribe on Itunes so you don't miss it!

HPP Episode 4 - Interview with Mark Timm

Failing On the Quest for Higher Purpose

Our first guest on this podcast is an amazing one. Mark Timm is a serial entrepreneur. But he’s also something else: a purpose driven leader. But he’s most excited about a business he started about 5 years ago. He currently leads Ziglar Family, and he’s got some amazing insights to share for those who are failing on their own journey to finding and living their higher purpose.Listen to the episode now:

• Believe it or not, Mark Timm is a farmboy. He shares some of the lessons that his family learned and passed down generation after generation, especially what their children would need to leave with to be successful.
• Mark shares his experience hearing an inspirational speaker for the first time. It was a tipping point moment for him, and that speaker was none other than Zig Ziglar. Mark shares how he implemented what he learned in his life.
• Bringing your higher purpose to the workplace can be a challenge. But the truth is it can revolutionize the culture of your workplace in the most positive way possible. It all comes back to Zig Ziglar’s most famous quote. Do you remember what it is?
• Want to know how you can change who you are and where you’re going? We go back to Zig Ziglar for another quote. Mark recalls how it changed him from the age of 15, and how he wore out the cassette tapes.
• Mark admits that his success at work made him wonder why he was so terrible at being a husband and wife. How could he grow, sell, and manage huge businesses but not be able to do the simple task of being the man he needed to be at home. Find out what question he asked that changed everything.
• Kevin draws out the mentality of working parents that strangles them. It’s clear with Leave it to Beaver all the way through pop culture today that we aren’t treating our family as the most important business we’re a part of. Remember: if you aren’t leading your family, then someone or something else IS.
• It’s okay if you’ve gotten it wrong a lot more than you’ve gotten it right. The only mistake you can make is to do nothing and say it’s too late. And in your moments of greatest vulnerability, your loved ones will see you at your greatest strength.

Make sure to subscribe on iTunes to get all new episodes as soon as they are released! You can read the blog post where we examined the concept of Being CEO of Your Family in More detail, and you can join the Higher Purpose Facebook Community to join us for our discussion about the values that matter as a family this coming Thursday.Interested in the Seven Day Challenge? Go here!

HPP Episodes 1-3 - Join the Purpose Revolution

Welcome to the Higher Purpose Podcast! Here you'll find the first three episodes of the show - and you can read all about the 7 people challenge

Episode 1: Welcome to the Higher Purpose Podcast

Have you ever felt a disconnect between your work and your values? Or that your pursuits, even the successful ones, aren’t fulfilling you the way you imagined? If so, this podcast is for you. In today’s episode, Kevin Monroe talks about his own unusual search for purpose, and why he’s so determined for this podcast to serve you.Listen to the Episode now:

Episode 2: What is the Higher Purpose Podcast?

It’s tempting to jump right into the amazing amounts of content Kevin has in store for you, like the frameworks he’s developed for purpose along with incredible guest interviews, but there’s something we need to look at first. How will this podcast serve you well? Today, Kevin talks about the cornerstone that will guide the journey of this podcast.

• Purpose is everywhere you turn these days, especially purpose-driven leadership. But did you know that living with purpose can affect not just your mental wellbeing, but also your physical health?
• Kevin discusses why he chooses the guests he does: less than 20% of business leaders work with purpose, and of those, only a small handful can articulate it. Those are the people who Kevin has lined up.
• People often talk about purpose, but when the conversation is turned to higher For some, it takes an interesting turn. They ask, ‘are you one of them?’
• Do you believe that the quest for purpose is limited to the younger generation? Think again. There is no discrimination: not age, generation, time period, background, faith, and anything else.
• Remember when there were just three channels on the TV? In our lifetime today, we have the world at our fingertips. Entertainment, possessions, fine foods, and more; power, prestige, monetary success… our lives are filled but not fulfilled.
• Even Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg knows that purpose is about being connected to something greater than yourself.
• Money, success, and other rewards: these are not the goal. They are the by-product of the true goal, which is fulfilling your purpose. Learn what the ‘economy of purpose’ is, and why it matters to you.
• There is more to this life, than this life. Don’t fall for the lie that this life is all there is.

Become a part of the Higher Purpose community on Facebook! We’d also appreciate it if you subscribe to the podcast. If you can think of someone this podcast can help, share it with them! Until next week, think about your why. Your higher purpose.Listen to the Episode now:

Episode 3: The Seven People You Meet on Your Path to Purpose

We've got a whole blog post talking about the idea of the 7 people - so listen to the episode, then learn more by Joining the Purpose Revolution! (That's where you'll find the worksheet, too!) I hope you enjoyed the launch episodes of the Higher Purpose Podcast! If  you have an idea for a show topic or a guest, email Kevin personally at Kevin@HigherPurposePodcast.com, or leave a comment below!

Join the Purpose Revolution

Over the past 10 years there has been something of a renaissance in the business world around the idea of purpose.People are less and less content doing work they don’t find meaningful. The value being placed on the contributions made to the world, as well as emotional and spiritual wellbeing is on the rise. You can see this across industries, countries, generations, and politics – and it is truly a wonderful thing. Humans were meant to have purpose in their lives, and with this idea becoming more mainstream, more and more people are able to take the risks and do the personal exploration that is vital for happier lives and healthier communities.[clickToTweet tweet="There is a purpose Revolution Happening. Join us! #7peoplehttp://kevindmonroe.com/join-the-purpose-revolution/" quote="There is a purpose revolution happening."]This is why I’m launching the Higher Purpose Podcast, where we will explore meaning and purpose together, and with industry leaders who are living and working purposefully.One of the themes that we are going to be returning to again and again is the idea of the 7 people who enter your life and make a huge impact on your journey to finding your purpose.There are certain people who you will meet in your life, who are going to make a huge difference for you in different ways. They will impact how you think and feel, and what you do.These people may appear once in a lifetime, or regularly. They may be in your life for a long time, or for only a brief window – no matter what kind of relationship you have with them – they are going to matter. Here's a quick list of the roles these people play in your life.

• Awakener – who alerts you to your purpose
• Doubter – who questions your worth
• Encourager – who encourages and has confidence in you
• Hero – who inspires and models greatness
• Mentor – who you have a close and trusting relationship with
• Critic – who thwarts your progress
• Ally – who supports and helps you

Even though some of these people can cause you pain – they are ALL instructive and necessary to help you connect with your purpose. For those that bring you comfort and joy – tell them! Listen to the episode, download the worksheet by subscribing below and most importantly – tell the people who have affected you (positively) that they have done so.[convertkit form=5058514]Most of us never realize that while other people have this kind of impact on us – we play the same roles for others. Discovering that you have been a Mentor, or Encourager, or Awakener can be a rare and precious gift. Be generous with it.Reach out in whatever way feels comfortable to you- and if that way is Twitter (because public accolades never hurt anyone!) please use the Hashtag #7people and mention me as well, if space allows (@Kevin_Monroe). I’d love to know who these people are in your life and join you in celebrating them.Please also take a moment to head over to iTunes and subscribe to the show. If you like it, then giving us a rating and a review will be very helpful.I would also like to invite you to become a member of The Higher Purpose Community on Facebook where we’re going to be having weekly discussions every Thursday about purpose, following each of the podcast episodes as they are released.Here's what we're going to be talking about this week:I’m shamelessly asking you to do quite a lot of things, aren’t I?There’s a good reason for that.This is a new project that I am very excited about, and feel it is going to be a powerful tool for learning, connecting, and growing as individuals and as a community. In the early days of a new podcast launch, having as many people listening, downloading, sharing, and reviewing the podcast will make a huge difference in how it’s received – and how many MORE people are able to find it, and join us together in this journey.More than that, and more than anything else – I want to hear from you – by whichever method suits you the most! Please like, share, subscribe, or all of the above – and I’ll be back next week with an enlightening conversation I had with Mark Timm, CEO of Ziglar Family and Cottage Garden Inc. We're going to be talking about how what works in a business can and SHOULD work in a family.

The Ultimate Time Management Hack

The single biggest mistake people make with time management is assuming that all time is equal and managing it as such.  True, everyone has the same number of hours in a day and every day contains the same number of hours. But, not every hour or every day is the same. If you think I am about to share some new time management trick or technique that will revolutionize how you manage your day, you’re wrong. True, I am drawn to productivity hacks and appreciate ways to get more done in a day.  But that's not the focus of this post.Instead, I want to go old school. By old, I am not advocating the return to a paper-based DayRunner or Franklin Planner — remember, I’m not promoting time management techniques.I mean going way back, all the way back to ancient Greece and examining their philosophical understanding of time. You see, the Greeks were very precise with language and had an understanding of time that offers tremendous benefit when you embrace it.

What the Greeks knew about time

Most of us have only one perception of time. And that's a problem!We experience time chronologically, sequentially. One minute or moment at a time. Minutes pass like the grains of sand trickling through an hourglass. Gradually, minutes become hours that accumulate into days, weeks, months, years, and on it goes.The Greeks labeled that as χρόνος (chronos) time; the orderly progression, or passage, of time. If you embrace a chronos understanding of time, then it is easy to perceive all time equally.That sameness is what allows you to establish routines. Then, there are people who take routines to the extreme. Think Sheldon Cooper from TV’s The Big Bang Theory who is so routinized that he has his wardrobe, meals, and entertainment meticulously mapped to the days of the week. After all, if all time is the same, why waste time and burn mental calories on such trivial matters?Chronos is how most of us understand time and its passing. When someone asks you, “What time is it?,” most likely you answer with some unit of chronological measurement.But, it’s the other Greek word for time that unlocks the true secret of making the most of your time. Kαιρός (kairos) refers to “an opportune time”. A moment of unique timing or special opportunity.You’ve probably heard people reference a time when the stars aligned or a door (or window) opened for them. That is kαιρός time.If you’re familiar with the New Testament (recall it was originally written in Greek) you have seen kairos translated as “the appointed time”, “due season”, or harvest. It is a special time, a time of unique opportunity.Whereas chronos time passes gradually and incrementally like the ticks of a second hand. Kairos arrives suddenly. Unexpectedly, sometimes even inconveniently.In some kairos moments, it may even seem that chronos time is suspended or stopped altogether. You see life happening in slow motion or freeze frame.When a kairos moment arrives and a door, or window, of opportunity opens…it is time to act, to move. [clickToTweet tweet="To seize the moment is the only appropriate response to kairos time. " quote="To seize the moment is the only appropriate response to kairos time. " theme="style5"]You can’t schedule, or reschedule, a kairos moment. When it arrives, the only appropriate response is to act. Now.Don’t look for the next convenient opening in your schedule and ask, “Can you come back on the third Tuesday of next month, I’ll gladly fit you in then?” It doesn’t work like that.

What to do when your time comes

If you’re a parent or happen to be pregnant now, you have a vivid contrast of chronos and kairos time.  The nine months of pregnancy is like chronos time and how we experience it. Day after day passes, week after week. Gradually and incrementally. Sometimes faster than others and sometimes slower. But then…Suddenly, it is time.All the weeks of preparation and planning led you to this moment. The kairos moment appeared and now is the time. You act and you act quickly. You seize the moment. The next time someone asks you, “What time is it?” Let that be a reminder that not all time is the same. While you cannot schedule a kairos moment, you can certainly prepare for one.How? Here are a few ways to begin.

1. Recognize kairos moments exist. Awareness creates opportunity.
2. Avail yourself to their arrival.
3. Prepare to act. And when a kairos moment comes,
4. Seize it!

Is now your time?

If as you are reading this, you suddenly discover that you are in a kairos moment and things have magically come into alignment in your life, then you need to take action. NOW.Do not hesitate or delay. Now is your time and the time to respond is now. Take an action step.Seize the moment, don’t let this one pass you by.If your kairos moment has something to do with you stepping into the higher purpose for your life or leadership and you aren’t quite sure what next step to take,  but feel connected to what I’ve shared here and in other places, then we need to talk. Take action now. Complete this form as the next step on your journey. Who knows? Maybe our paths crossing now, in this season; you reading this post at this exact moment indicates that we should be working together to help you seize the moment and move into your destiny. If so, that’s awesome and I’d be honored to play a part. If this post helps you take some other step forward, I’d love to celebrate that with you.[clickToTweet tweet="[clickToTweet tweet="The ultimate #timemanagement hack? When a kairos moment arrives, pounce on it!" quote="The ultimate time management hack? When a kairos moment arrives, pounce on it!" theme="style5"]You will be glad you did and the world will be better because you did.

Some Really Bad News for Jerk Bosses

The reign of the jerk boss is over. That’s great news…unless of course, you ARE a jerk boss, or you have a jerk boss. If you are a jerk boss, you might be wondering, what’s next for you? Of course, it’s highly unlikely that many jerk bosses are reading this…because one reason they are a jerk boss is they think they know it all and see no need to invest in personal or professional development.Now, for those of you that have a jerk boss, that’s another story. You might even be thinking me a Pollyanna for suggesting their reign has ended because your boss has exhibited jerkiness in the last hour.  And oh, how you are ready for them to be deposed, dethroned, and exiled.That day is coming. Not fast enough for you right now if you still have a jerk boss. But it’s arriving sooner than you may think.Let me explain.The reign of the jerk boss may not be completely over yet, at least not everywhere. But it has already ended in most progressive companies and is fading rapidly in many others, as corporations and their leaders enter a new age of enlightenment.Not that long ago companies identified themselves in one of two categories. They were either Business-to-Business (B2B) or Business-to-Consumer (B2C) or both B2B and B2C. The enlightenment that has spread like wildfire is the realization that employees are people, real people and must be treated with dignity and respect. One result is the humanization of work and workplaces.The realization is, every business, whether they once classified themselves as B2B or B2C, is actually an H2H or P2P enterprise. That is, they are human-to-human or people-to-people entities.[clickToTweet tweet="Corporations and businesses do not establish and maintain #relationships, people within them do." quote="Corporations and businesses do not establish and maintain relationships, people within them do." theme="style5"]As with most revolutions, the speed of adoption varies. Fortunately, we’ve moved beyond the early adopters and are seeing the humanization of work become mainstream with increased acceptance among both early majority and late majority companies.Laggard organizations remain. They still welcome jerk bosses and allow them to berate and belittle employees. But let’s hope those laggards soon join the revolution or go the way of the rotary dial telephone and 8-track tapes.Now, we celebrate leaders who are creating vibrant cultures and healthy workplaces where people pursue purpose, thrive and grow as individuals, and preserve the planet for future generations — all while making a reasonable profit.New skill sets are needed to thrive in the H2H age. Chief among them is authenticity; so much so that Harvard Business Review declared, “Authenticity has become the gold standard for leadership” (Jan-Feb 2015 edition).

Assessing Authenticity 

Who races to the front of the line in your mind when you are asked to identify a leader you admire for their authenticity?I’ve got two hunches about your attraction to that person and your admiration for them as an authentic leader.First, you experienced them as a harmonious leader. By that I mean, what you saw and heard from them externally was in harmony with who they were internally. They were congruent.Second, you resonated with them as a leader. Something inside of you reverberated (moved to the same frequency) with what you experienced in and through them. You identified with them and were drawn in to enjoy more of what they had to offer through their leadership in the same way the sound of live music compels you to find its source and linger as you listen.These leaders are authentic and their authenticity resonated with you forming a connection and a bond between you and them.The authenticity test is the degree to which a leader’s words and actions are in harmony with who they are as a leader (the person, not the position).When the inner self and outward expression are on the same frequency, there is HARMONY — authenticity for that leader. When what you see, hear, and experience of a leader resonates with something inside you — there is RESONANCE — you are in sync with them and most likely are eager to follow because of that powerful combination of harmony and resonance.[clickToTweet tweet="#Authentic leaders are rapidly displacing and replacing jerk bosses. Hallelujah! " quote="Authentic leaders are rapidly displacing and replacing jerk bosses. Hallelujah! " theme="style5"]

Amping Up Your Authenticity

How do you amp up your authenticity? I love that question. Here are two ways to help:

1. Join the Authentic Leadership Summit. It’s going on now, and you can catch the remaining sessions including mine that airs this Friday, April 14. Here’s where you can join in for free.

2. Download your free copy of Discovering Your Authentic Leadership. A new tool I developed expanding what you’ve read here along with a worksheet to help you get in touch with your authentic self.

Oh, if you happen to have a jerk boss or your company still provides a safe harbor for jerk bosses, it might be time to move on and join a company that values their people too much to tolerate jerk bosses. Life is too short to work for a jerk boss.If you are a leader, join the Authentic Leader Revolution. I bet you already have.

Outsourcing Nightmares: 5 Things You're Better Off Doing Yourself

Ever had an outsourcing nightmare? You know the kind of ‘help’ calls that are anything but helpful, and suddenly you hear words coming out of your mouth that would prompt your mother to grab a bar of soap.If your experience was truly a nightmare, it might have provoked you to the point of issuing threats against the company that limits your future air travel options.Hopefully, you didn’t go that far. I might have come close a time or two several years ago. Thank God, I’ve mellowed some since then.Last week I realized how pervasive outsourcing has become. It’s not just large corporations that have embraced outsourcing. Perhaps you’ve jumped on the outsourcing bandwagon and didn’t even realize it.My discovery came while working out at the gym. I was listening to Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott. It’s a delightful book, written in Anne’s inimitable style overflowing with her wit and wisdom.There I was in the gym, gliding on the elliptical and listening to the chapter on publication. Suddenly, I heard something that jolted the rhythm of my cadence. I grabbed the phone, hit the rewind button to see if I heard her correctly.Yep, I did hear correctly. I listened one more time and texted myself the sentence so that I could ponder it later. Pondering that sentence is what prompted this post.

Being enough was going to have to be an inside job.

In context, Anne’s point was that many aspiring writers long for the day when they will have their work published. They mistakenly believe that getting published will resolve their issues with insecurity.[clickToTweet tweet="You can’t outsource your identity without losing it. " quote="You can’t outsource your identity without losing it. " theme="style6"]

Five Things You Better Not Outsource

Is there something you’ve attempted to outsource that can’t really be outsourced? Here are five things you can’t effectively outsource:Happiness. Hopefully, you’ve figured this out. But many people haven’t. When you engage in conversation, you quickly discover they have pinned their personal happiness to an external event — usually something far off in the future and way beyond their control. Not gonna work.Abundance. When you embrace a poverty mindset, getting more will never be enough. Abundance is recognizing you are enough and already have enough to do what you are called to do.[clickToTweet tweet="#Abundance is a #mindset, not a bank balance." quote="Abundance is a mindset, not a bank balance." theme="style6"]Authenticity. You will never find your authentic self or voice if you are always copying others. It’s admirable to have heroes and role models, but let them inspire you to be the best you, you can be. Do not attempt to become a cheap imitation of someone else.  Be you. Only you can be.Courage. Ultimately, the courage to act must take up residence inside you. It is true that others can encourage you, but others are not always around and sooner, or later, you have to develop your own internal sources of courage. If you outsource your courage, you will find yourself waiting for someone else to come light your fire or start your engine.Compassion. It’s awesome to have so many nonprofit organizations in communities caring for people who are struggling. But it’s a mistake to think you can outsource your compassion to someone else. The word compassion comes from the Greek language, σπλαγχνίζομαι (splagchnizomai). It means to feel or be moved in the inward parts. Compassion is something you feel and experience deep inside of you that moves you to action. True, it may result in writing a check or making a credit card donation that funds the work of another, but it also may require you to get personally involved and directly connected with those you want to serve.The real outsourcing nightmare is attempting to have someone else do something for you that only you can do. If you’ve given someone else the responsibility for anything on this list, take it back, NOW.It’s your responsibility. As listening to Anne Lamott reminded me, being enough is an inside job. Own it, don’t outsource it.

The Purpose Manifesto

For years, I've been fascinated by the topic of purpose. Maybe it's because I'm a Baby Boomer or perhaps it was attending mandatory chapel services three times a week at Asbury during my freshman year of college. After all, it seemed that every other chapel speaker addressed the Why Are We Here question in one way or another.Earlier this year, I launched the Living Your WHY Facebook Group. It's a global community of people passionate about pursuing purpose. Since launching our community, I have engaged in countless conversations related to purpose.All of that led to my writing The Purpose Manifesto, a small e-book  inviting you to give serious consideration to the why question of your life. Actually, my goal for The Purpose Manifesto is bigger. I want to move you to action and inspire you to start Living Your WHY.Honestly, my goal is even larger still. I hope you will get so excited about your WHY that you invite others to do the same.Let's launch a movement!Who knows? Part of your response may prompt you to join the Living Your WHY community. We'd love to have you join us. If you're not already a member, consider this your invitation to join us. To get your free copy of The Purpose Manifesto provide your information below and we will send your copy ASAP.[convertkit form=4955866]

Authenticity: Must You Become A Poet?

True confession. I’ve always struggled with poetry. For some reason, I thought it was highbrow and hoity-toity. Don’t ask me about the origins of my opinion, as I am not sure I understand it or can explain.It probably had something to do with struggles reading poetry aloud in school and having far more childhood exposure to Mad Magazine than either the New Yorker or The Atlantic.But now, I am on a quest to become a poet. It’s not that I seek to master rhythmic verse and iambic pentameter. That might be a bit of a stretch for me.Perhaps it’s more accurate to say; I am seeking to follow the advice of one particular poet.I find great solace and solidarity with e.e. cummings in "A Poet’s Advice".

    A poet is somebody who feels, and who expresses his feeling through words.    This may sound easy. It isn’t.    A lot of people think or believe or know they feel - but    that’s thinking or believing or knowing; not feeling. And poetry is feeling-    not knowing or believing or thinking.    Almost anybody can learn to think or believe or know, but not a single    human being can be taught to feel. Why? Because whenever you think    or your believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment    you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.    To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best,    night and day, to make you everybody else-means to    fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; andnever stop fighting.

That poem was written before I was born, yet as I read it now, I hear e.e. cummings shouting the existential challenge of millions in our day. To be nobody-but-yourself.

The battle to be you...and only you

Think of it as the authenticity challenge. To be you, the one-and-only real you. 100% genuine and authentic. No imitations.We have always had external forces and voices seeking to shape societal norms to conform and confine you to be somebody other than yourself. In today’s world, those voices are amplified and magnified. Many times over.When e.e. cummings first penned those words (1958), radio was the most prevalent form of mass media. Television was still making it meteoric rise. By 1960, nine out of ten US homes had just one television. Most of those televisions had only three channels and the screens turned to snow at midnight after playing the National Anthem.Now, with the advent of smartphones, most US homes today have about ten screens and 90% of all media is consumed via a screen of some sort and 38% of it via smartphones.And with the rise of new media, and specifically social media, you now have immediate, and persistent, access to an ocean of opinions of the somebody-other-than-yourself you should be.Those opinions include:What you should believe,How you should think,How you should dress,What movies or music you should like,Where, and how, you should eat, play, or vacation,Who you should hang out with,What you should value, andHow you assess and assign a value to yourself.I hear cummings say that there are plenty of people willing to teach you to “think or believe or know” how or what to feel.You know what others expect of you, but you don’t know:

who you really are, 

what you truly want, or 

how you feel.

That, my friend, is the authenticity crisis. And it is paralyzing millions. Maybe even you.On top of that, you find it hard to believe that you, YOU are unique.That you are one-of-a-kind, which while it’s true that somewhere you have a doppelgänger, nowhere is there a replica of you. Not a chance.The quest, should you choose to accept it is, to discover the real you. The nobody-but-yourself you. And then fight to be the one and only you.

How do you do that?

First, believe you are unique. And that you are uniquely formed, fashioned, or created -- whatever word works best for you.Second, commit to discovering the real you. This task will require some introspection and perhaps even some conversations with close friends or a confidant. Answer the questions: what do you really want out of life? What gives you joy?Find somewhere to write -- in your journal, Evernote, or somewhere and write five answers to this question, “If you really knew me, you would know...”Speaking of authenticity, here are a few of my answers to that question:If you really knew me, then you would know...

• I am a Christ-follower.
• I want to be admired most by those who know me best.
• My favorite clothes are bluejeans. If I could, I’d wear them every day.
• I have Celiac Disease and follow a strict gluten-free diet.
• I have struggled with insecurity and had bouts of depression.
• I am an introvert. While I love being around people, I must have time alone to recharge.

As you get to know me better, there’s more to tell. Just as there is with you. But you don’t put it all out there early in a relationship.Third, find a circle of people who love the authentic you and support you being the best you, you can be. You do the same for them.Fourth, stop listening to the other voices. That may require you to change your circle of friends, limit your time on social media, or sign off entirely for a season.There’s more. Much more. But hopefully, this will get you started on the journey.[clickToTweet tweet="Living authentically isn’t always easy, but it’s always worthwhile. #authenticity" quote="Living authentically isn’t always easy, but it’s always worthwhile."]

Discover the real you

I’m not sure about my quest to become a poet, but I do want to live authentically and cummings advice applies to all of us who share that desire.Hear the closing lines of "A Poet’s Advice",

Does this sound dismal? It isn't. It's the most wonderful life on earth.

I hope you find the most wonderful life on earth and know your deepest joy by living it.Discovering your authentic self is part of what’s needed for living your WHY and sharing your unique contribution to the world, your world.If discovering your authentic self and Living Your WHY are something you want help with, contact me or enter your name and email below. We are forming group coaching groups now that will launch right after the holidays to help you live your WHY more fully in 2017. Enter your name and email if you want to know more.[convertkit form=4935892]Credits:

Image by Ellerslie and obtained from DepositPhotosTelevision stats -  http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2007/TamaraTamazashvili.shtmlSmartphone stats - http://techatlast.com/average-number-of-screens-in-home-increased/

Coming to Terms With Where You Are When You Wish You Were Somewhere Else

Have you ever found yourself somewhere you never intended to be and wondered how you got there?I wish I could honestly say, “I have no experience in this area.” In actuality, it’s one I am quite familiar with. My most recent experience was…oh yeah, yesterday.It was like I received a special, engraved invitation:

"You are cordially invited to a party. A pity party.”

No party clothes needed. Sackcloth and ashes will do just fine. No RSVP needed, just show up. NOW.It was a weak moment. I accepted the invitation.I showed up. As I looked around, it was all so familiar. It wasn’t any strange sort of deja vu. The truth is, if you’ve been to one pity party, you know they are all pretty much the same.No sooner than I had arrived, I realized I did not belong nor would I find any joy by attending this party. [clickToTweet tweet="There is no joy at a pity party." quote="There is no joy at a pity party."]Fortunately, I received another invitation at about the same time. It was a phone-a-friend lifeline. “Hey Kevin, got a minute to talk?”I left the pity party early and jumped on the call. As we talked, somehow I was suddenly reminded of my favorite words from Teddy Roosevelt. Words that often sneak their way into client sessions and presentations. Simple, yet profound words.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

That’s the only choice any of us has, isn’t it?While you may eagerly wish you were somewhere else with different surroundings and situations, you are where you are. At least for now. The good news is, you don’t have to stay there. And, you are not alone. Sooner, or later, most of us find ourselves somewhere other than where we wish we were. I was reminded of this, recently, as I listened to Melanie Dale talking about her latest book, It’s Not Fair, Learning to Love the Life You Didn’t Choose.I loved her talk and the title of her book. While I could not relate to her specific situations, I fully related to her sentiments. Most of us can. When was the last time you said, “It’s not fair” about something in life? If you are too cool to say it out loud, when was the last time you thought it?So, what do you do when you find yourself somewhere other than where you wish you were? That takes us back to the wise words from Teddy. I’ll unpack them in reverse order.

Where Are You?

The first step is to assess exactly where it is that you are.For years, I’ve been intrigued that the first recorded question attributed to God in the Bible is the question, “Where are you?” Adam had eaten the forbidden fruit, felt the weight of guilt for the first time in human history, and consequently skipped his daily visit with God. God went looking for Adam and called out, “Where are you?” Well, if you subscribe to the notion, as I do, that God is omniscient, then you realize the question was asked for Adam’s benefit, not for God’s. That is often the case when someone asks, “Where are you?” You know you are not where you want to be, but you may not be exactly sure of where you are or how you got there. The “where are you” question may be a wake-up call for you assess where you are — geographically, emotionally, physically, financially, or spiritually. Next, accept where you are. And where you are not. Most likely this may require you to revisit expectations — yours or others. As William Shakespeare wisely opined,

“Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

Reconcile your expectations so you can embrace the reality of your current situation. Then, and only then, can you accept where you are and make plans for relocating.

What Do You Have?

Then, inventory your assets. Regardless of how impoverished you might feel at this exact moment, you have assets. I am not talking about your bank account and 401k, but your skills, talents, and abilities that only you have in the precise mix and measure as you do. [clickToTweet tweet="It is far easier to see what you lack than treasure what you have." quote="It is far easier to see what you lack than treasure what you have."]You can do this formally through a myriad of skill or strength assessments. Many people have found great benefit from the StrengthsFinder assessment. Or you can do it informally. Pull out a sheet of paper and begin listing those things that come naturally to you. If you are struggling to identify your strengths, contact a group of friends and ask them, “What is it that I do that amazes you?”I’ve done that and been amazed at the responses.Celebrate your uniqueness. You are one of a kind. No one is exactly like you and has the same blend of wit, wisdom, and wonder like you. That means that you are uniquely formed and fashioned to make a unique contribution to the world that only you can make. And we need you to make it!Activate your intention. Deep within you is a dream, a desire. I call it your WHY and Living Your WHY is the reason you are here. Determine that living your WHY is what you desire most and declare it. Write it down. Speak it out. Go after it.

What Can You Do?

Take action. Do something. NOW! Even if it is a baby step, take it. And do it now. Now is the only time you have. “Do not put off until tomorrow what you can do now.” Great advice whether it originated with Thomas Jefferson or Benjamin Franklin. [clickToTweet tweet="Seeds sown today will take root, begin to grow, and produce a harvest. But only if you plant them." quote="Seeds sown today will take root, begin to grow, and produce a harvest. But only if you plant them."]Do not despise the day of small beginnings. Don’t let what you cannot do keep you from doing what you can. Write. Talk. Think. Dream. Connect. Create. Discuss. Explore. Just do it! Now. What will you do and where will you go? Who knows? I hope you enjoy the journey. Keep me posted on your progress.Do you want to stay posted on all things Living Your WHY? Subscribe here:[convertkit form=4898504]We hate spam. We promises not to share your information with anyone.

How Now Shall We Work - Faith@Work Summit 2016

It's the final day of the Faith@Work 2016 (#FAWS16) Summit in Dallas, Texas. I am attendng through the gracious invitation of my friend, Devin Marks. What an exciting few days it has been gathered there with about 400 others from around the world to explore the implications of faith AT work with some of the best and brightest minds and most compassionate hearts.This convocation is specifically exploring the Christian faith at work since this is a gathering of Christians or Christ-followers (the identity I prefer.)F@W16  has included plenty of rousing presentations from the stage in aTED-like format of 15-minute talks from a variety of presenters each discussing an “idea worth spreading.”  These talks sparked plenty of stimulating conversations during the breakout sessions, in the halls, and spilled over into dinner and late night discussions.Here am I at 3:30 Saturday morning when I should be sleeping and instead, my mind is overstimulated from the discussions of these past few days and dozens of thoughts running through my mind.At times like these when sleep evades me, I find it best to get up and write. To wrestle these ideas to print.John Beckett, in the opening talk of the Summit, talked about the challenge of Greek dualism from the secular/sacred divide that is a root of the problem for so many when it comes to Faith@Work. I experienced this years ago when I worked for an entrepreneur who was new to the faith and very vocal about it…well, at least on Sundays. Yet as a new believer, his faith had not yet impacted many of his questionable business practices. It was those sketchy business practices the other six days of the week that troubled me most.These issues came to a head, and finally, I inquired about a couple of his most egregious practices. Now, some 30 years later I still vividly recall his response, “Oh, that’s business!”He lived in that dualistic divide and unfortunately, never managed to bridge the gap.Unscrupulous practices like that illustrate another dimension to the dualistic split. We must cross the chasm between right thinking and right doing on the topics of F@W. Right thinking, or what might be labeled orthodoxy and then there’s the right doing or orthopraxy. It’s what Lisa Slayton of the Pittsburgh Leadership Foundation alluded to when she said,

Faith@Work must become a movement of the heart, not just the head.

For the F@W movement to thrive and truly have the impact in the marketplace that we want it to have, we must marry right thinking and right action. We must embrace orthodoxy and orthopraxy.And that is what has me wide awake this Saturday morning. Perhaps, others are still gathered somewhere having these conversations, and if I knew where they were, I could join them. Instead, here I sit in my hotel room, thinking out loud.So, I do what I know to do when thoughts like these lock in head and sleep evades me. I get up and write.If…or perhaps the better way to frame the question is when we are serious our Faith@Work, how does that manifest? [clickToTweet tweet="When we are embracing orthodoxy and orthopraxy about #FAWS16, what is different in our workplaces?" quote="When we are embracing orthodoxy and orthopraxy about F@W, what is different in our workplaces?"]What is different about:

The culture of your workplace?

The way you design compensation and benefits packages?

Your hiring practices?

Your approach to employee evaluation?

Your approach to talent development?

Your approach to leadership and leadership development?

How you handle difficult situations and crucial conversations?

What’s different about encounters with customers and the customer experience?

Amy Sherman of the Sagamore Institute issued a threefold challenge to:

Cultivate the creational purpose and intent about work.

Restore what’s broken in the workplace. 

Imagine what the ultimate future of work looks like and yank a foretaste of that into the now. 

[clickToTweet tweet="When we cultivate, restore, and imagine F@W, we will then know, how now shall we work. " quote="When we cultivate, restore, and imagine a thriving F@W world, we will then know, how now shall we work. "]Fortunately, we are not without exemplars and examples of Faith at Work. There are bright spots from which we can learn.If you are wondering how might your culture be different when faith is at work, what if you too adopted a no-gossip policy as they have at Ramsey Solutions (Dave Ramsey)? That shows up in the conversations over coffee and at lunch.On the topic of customer experience, look at Chick-Fil-A and how they are as relentless about innovation as they are hospitality. They are at the forefront of excellence in customer experience and being the premier restaurant for families. CFA provides free ice cream to award customers for digital-distraction free dining. Restaurant patrons, especially those with young children can order ahead using the app and have their meal ready when they arrive and have it delivered to their table to enhance the dining experience for eating out with your young children.  That is a result of F@W.I don’t know the answers to all of these questions. But hey, this is F@W16, and some of the best and brightest minds, the luminaries of the F@W world are here. As we move forward on this journey, I am confident that we will see companies answering these questions and finding myriads of ways that combine the best thinking and the best doing of F@W.If you are not able to attend in person, you can join in via the live streaming for the final day of discussions.

Tapping into the Power of Reflection

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Soren Kierkegaard

Living forward is a mindset that occurs in the now. You do realize now is the only moment that you have in which to live, right? You can’t live in the past. Too many have tried, none have succeeded. Nor can you live in the future. But the past can be a window into the future.[clickToTweet tweet="You can review the past to inform what you do now to obtain a more desirable result in the future. " quote="You can review the past to inform what you do now to obtain a more desirable result in the future."]See how that works?Socrates added,

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Your life is worth living, isn’t it?Since you (and me) only have one life to live. And, you want to make your life count (I believe you do or you would not be reading this), then do yourself a favor, carve out some time for reflection and examine your life.And just in case you are one of those living life in the fast lane, who doesn’t have time to slow down, even for a moment. Let me remind you of the wise words from Gandhi, “Speed is irrelevant if you’re going in the wrong direction.”

Yes, But How?

As with so many things in life, there is not one best way to approach reflection. Adopt an explorer’s approach and try several options until you find what works best for you. Recently, I asked members of the Living Your WHY Community about their personal practices or places for reflection. Several mentioned journaling as their preferred practice. Some keep a gratitude journal. Others create a daily list of things for which they are grateful. I journal. Almost every day. For part of my journaling, I use a list of questions. Yes, the same questions as a guide for daily journaling. The first question is, “What do I choose to celebrate from yesterday?” You can always find something to celebrate, even on the worst of days — which don’t happen often, but when they do, they pass and today is a new day. ‘Choose to celebrate’ is a deliberate word choice. Celebration is a choice. A mindset.Other reflective practices shared by LYW members included taking daily outdoor walks. For some, like Jean-Marc, it’s a daily hike up the mountain. Others mentioned walking around the lake, through the woods, and for some, it was just in their neighborhood. Wherever you are going, carving out some time to get away from the distractions and noise of daily life will usually help you reflect.

When is a Good Time to Reflect?

You could incorporate reflection as a daily practice. Or, you might choose to adopt some periodic reviews: weekly, monthly, quarterly, or annual reviews. You can mix and match multiple types of reviews for different times and purposes.Perhaps you reflect on the highlights of a period of time to assess your progress towards a goal. You might conduct daily reviews to monitor your progress towards incorporating a new habit or ensure you are living in harmony with your values. All are helpful. You might find it useful to pause for a review after significant events — regardless of the outcome. After-action reviews are beneficial to analyze what led to the success of an event. Or to consider the learning moments when things don’t go as well as you had hoped. Learning moments is a label for mistakes I got from my friend, Garry Ridge.

How Will You Benefit?

Your results may vary. I know it sounds like the fine print from an investment prospectus or commercial for a weight loss program, but it is true. Results will vary and will increase as you continue your commitment to reflection.Here’s a short list of what you might experience:

• Gain perspective on events and more quickly put things into perspective.
• Detect patterns. Honing this skill may even allow you to predict results.
• Manage your emotions.
• Learn from mistakes.
• Recognize areas where you have grown.
• Generate new options and ideas.
• Get a new job. Say what?

Recently, I had a conversation with Jason as he was wrapping up a year-long leadership development program that had introduced him to Servant Leadership and reflection. He shared how incorporating reflection into his life was the single best change he made through the program. It even resulted in a new job. Why? Because he spent time reflecting on how he approached the interview and changed his approach. Bingo!It also resulted in spending more time with his family, better relationships at work, less time at work (the new job has a cap on hours), and unlimited vacation. Remember, your results may vary, but Jason’s results should inspire you to incorporate reflection into your life.

When Will You Begin?

[clickToTweet tweet="Now is the best time! In truth, now is the only time." quote="Now is the best time! In truth, now is the only time."]Start now. Pause, right now, and ask yourself a question, “What do I choose to celebrate?” Or, “What did I learn?”Schedule time for regular reflection. Choose whether daily, weekly, or monthly are best for you right now. Put it on your calendar. How you have benefitted from meditation? Or, if you are new to reflection, what is your goal for reflection?[convertkit form=4929748]

But What If You Could Meditate?

This week I have the privilege of introducing Susan Axelrod as our guest blogger on meditation. Her Meditative Space has been invaluable to me, and I knew I would be remiss if I didn't ask her to contribute to our series on meditation. Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge with us, Susan!

---

“I can’t meditate.”“But what if you could?”“I can’t. I just can’t quiet my mind.”I said this for years when people suggested that meditation would help me reduce my anxiety. Now, I hear it from clients in my own coaching practice.For many people, the word meditation is a trigger word. As soon as they hear it, negative feelings like failure or frustration arise accompanied by the thought: “My mind is too cluttered, I can’t quiet my monkey-mind like that.” Or was that just me?I wonder if anyone tried to help me understand the benefits of meditation? Probably. But I was too anxious to actually hear what they were trying to tell me.I was suffering.For years, I was on fire with ambition and this resulted in personal and work pile-on, constant ‘have-tos’ and ‘shoulds,’ and even then, a passion for wanting to make a difference in the world. Even now, I can feel the memory of shallow breathing and sense of urgency to get ‘there.’My ability to find my inner calm came from a deep desire to not feel anxious, to not feel constantly behind, to not feel in chaos.

My true success came when I learned the benefit of focusing on what I wanted, instead of what I didn’t want.

The combination of 1) being in such an unsatisfied personal space, 2) learning about the power of thought, 3) using Affirmations and 4) focusing on what I wanted led me to seek out tools that I could use effectively to get into the place I really WANTED TO BE. Creating Meditative Space was one of the tools.It took me a decade or more. That’s why I’m writing this blog post. To help you find it today.Literally, now.Peace.Along the way, I gave myself permission to do what I could - even if it wasn’t perfect - finding snippets of meditative space was good enough if I couldn’t do full-blown Meditation. It was this breakthrough that I was finally able to breathe.Meditative Space is a small clearing; a bit of empty space that offers you a clear breath, a moment of ease, an ounce of wellbeing. When you feel it, you naturally want more.

Creating a Meditative Space

[Note: At the end of this post, I’ve included two articles. If you’re reading this post because it’s a topic of interest, then I want to say clearly: READ THE ARTICLES!]First, come to consciousness when you find yourself with a few minutes of quiet. Is that now? While you’re reading this? Do you have a few minutes? In the shower? Standing in a bank line? When going to bed? Upon waking? Look for those few minutes! I couldn’t believe how easily I could find them. Just being aware of them served to give me a more positive attitude of having space in my life.Then, find your breath. Learning about breathing--and then actually breathing--changed a lot for me. To come to consciousness on your own breath, see if you’re using it as a tool where it’s deep and productive or if you’re in shallow breathing where you’re breathing just through your head, instead of through your whole body. Release your shoulders now, stretch your neck and breathe. Practice this breathing! I promise you just this activity alone will serve you.Close your eyes and breathe, get quiet and visualize your mind. Even if there’s noise around you, you can get quiet yourself; you do not have to interact with that noise around you. Just let it be there, and you be here! What do you see in your mind? If it’s filled with clutter from your day or your life, literally take your hand and slice through the air in front of you as if you’re slicing through the clutter. Then, imagine pulling apart the two separate pieces you just created and clipping them off with binder clips so that what’s left is an open clear space. It will probably appear dark and will be empty. ……This opening can serve as your Meditative Space if you allow it.

B.O.A.T.

Meditation takes time and practice. It can be hard to do if you have a lot of clutter. Slicing through the clutter in your mind allows you to begin to create a Meditative Space, which you can focus on with commitment, while at the same time using your deep breathing. When you find this quiet space, then you can listen to the quiet. Just sit there in silence and listen to the quiet, see what comes up for you, see what you hear. Focus on that with curiosity. Over time see what you hear, how it changes as you get more easily able to find your quiet inside.For some, it is useful to imagine that you are in a peaceful quiet space. I suggest the visual of a still boat, floating silently in the water. You can feel the calm, feel the breeze, feel the silence. This visual is actually an acronym: Breathe. Open. Allow. Think. This is the process!Here’s a simple Action Plan:

1. Learn about and understand the benefits of getting quiet inside.
2. If you find those benefits truly useful to you, work to integrate them into your mind. You will actively and eagerly pursue these benefits if you have a deep feeling about why this will be helpful.
3. Consider my suggested method for finding a Meditative Space rather than trying to accomplish full blown ‘Meditation.’ Find your breath. Release your shoulders. Clear the clutter.
4. Get quiet inside and see what you hear.
5. Repeatedly.

 My deep gratitude to Kevin Monroe for inviting me to write this guest blog. 

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Article in Scientific American: “What does mindfulness meditation do to your brain?”Article in Forbes.com: “7 ways meditation can actually change the brain.”

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 Susan L. Axelrod is a Coach who helps people find clarity, get control and move intentionally toward their goals. She offers Personal Coaching for individuals, Executive Coaching for business owners and Leadership Coaching for young people [ages 15-30]. She is also a professional speaker and offers custom programs for groups and organizations. You can visit her website here. We are continuing on in our series on meditation. If you want updates on future blog posts subscribe below.[convertkit form=4923795] 

Are Any of These Meditation Myths Stopping You?

You don’t have to be a monk to master meditation. But what do I know? I suck at meditation.Or at least I thought I did.Then, recently, I began realizing the numerous benefits I receive as a result of regular meditation.The benefits are immensely personal and practical. Better yet, they are even subtle. They are so subtle, I had not even realized the connection between some of the benefits I’ve received and my daily meditation.A few days ago I heard a comment; it was part of a guided meditation I was doing on the Calm app. At first, it took me by surprise. Tamara Levitt, the host and guide, said that one benefit of meditation is that it becomes easier to step away from busyness. Suddenly l realized, “Hey, that’s true for me.”In years past, when I went on vacation, I found it often took me three or four days to clear my head and begin to unwind. By the last day of vacation, I’d usually started the re-entry process — wondering what I’d missed, who I needed to contact, and what was required to resume the various projects underway. Do the math, and you realize that I often only had two days of real vacation out of a 7-day vacation. That stunk!Not so this year. Last month we got away for a week of vacation.It was much easier to stop the carousel and step off for a few days rather than being constantly bombarded by thoughts. I noticed it on day one of our vacation. For a few moments, I wondered what was different this year. But, instead of over-analyzing why unwinding was easier this year than previous years, I decided to enjoy being unwound (is that a word?).It was only a few weeks later when I connected the dots. WOW! If meditation helped me do that, what else might be possible?Recently, I was in a coaching session with Susan Axelrod (to clarify, she was coaching me). Susan recognizes that there are plenty of people, like me, who react when they hear meditation. Accordingly, she prefers to call it Meditative Space. This is a deliberate practice to visually depict clearing the clutter in your mind and finding space between your thoughts. (I don’t know about you, but I am usually in the market for some meditative space.)All of this got me thinking more about meditation. What is it that so many have misunderstood about meditation that prevents us from reaping these remarkable benefits? Here are the five meditation myths that kept me from meditating. Do you recognize any of these?

1. I’m too busy to meditate. That’s kind of like saying you are too busy to think. Seriously? In actuality, the busier you are, the greater your need for meditation. It’s easy to jump out of bed and hit the floor running out of a sense of being busy. It’s equally easy to neglect self-care when you are busy and overly busy can lead to burnout. Investing  a few moments in meditation will help you stay centered, focused, and more effective with your time and energy
2. Only mystics and monks meditate. That’s another way of saying that meditation is mystical, aerie-faerie, or religious. It can be a spiritual practice but, in and of itself, meditation need not be religious or wacky. You don’t have to burn incense, light candles, recite chants, or do yoga to meditate. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of those aspects of meditation, especially if you are a monk or a mystic. (Don’t want to offend my readers from the monastery).
3. It takes too long to meditate.  Who said there was a minimum time limit required for meditation in order for it to be effective? There are benefits to meditation even if you only meditate for a moment. I started by meditating for 3 minutes. As I began to reap benefits from those 3-minute sessions, I extended the time. My sessions average about 10 minutes and I’ve discovered those 10 minutes have a compound effect on the rest of my time.
4. You have to sit on the floor cross-legged, wear yoga pants, chant, and burn incense to meditate. Now you know that I am a card-carrying Baby Boomer who came of age in the 70s to have those associations with meditation. But that is what I originally thought. Now I know that’s nonsense. Naturally, there are some places more conducive to meditation than others, but you can meditate most anywhere and wear whatever you want.
5. I’ll fail at it, so, why bother? I get this. It’s what I thought for years. Now I realize no one is grading my meditation practice. My misconception was thinking that meditation meant "to not think”, to achieve a state of nothingness. Now, thanks to help from Tamara Levitt, the voice on the Calm App and my daily guide, I realize not thinking is not the point of meditation. Instead, it is to develop awareness of my thoughts, to consciously clear the clutter, and order what would otherwise be chaos.

I now realize how wrong I was about meditation and what I was missing. How about you? Do you wrestle with any of these or are there others you would add to the list?If you’re willing, why not take a 7-day challenge. Commit to creating meditative space and carving out a few minutes each day of the next seven days to meditate. If, like me, you need a little help, try calm.com or the Calm App. Once you have a 7-day streak under your belt, I’m guessing you’ll be finding enough benefits to keep it going.  [clickToTweet tweet="Accepting a meditation challenge isn’t a competition. It’s encouragement." quote="Accepting a meditation challenge isn’t a competition. It’s encouragement."]I am enjoying benefits from regular meditation and hope you will too. Over the next few weeks, there will be guests more knowledgeable than myself on meditation sharing their experience and expertise. Leave your info below to receive updates on future blog posts. Up next is a guest post from Susan Axelrod, coach, consultant, and speaker, sharing her practice of Meditative Space.[convertkit form=4923795] 

Maybe This Is What's Keeping You From Being All You Were Meant To Be

Have you ever caught yourself looking at someone and wondering “What is it about them that allowed them to achieve the success they have? To build the following that they amassed. To be the voice that thousands, or even millions, listen to. Be the guide others look to for help?”Perhaps you’ve thought, “I’m just as gifted as they are, right? Why is it so easy for them?” Sometimes, you complete it with … and so difficult for me?Then, suddenly, as you sit there at your table-for-one pity party, sulking, you are overcome with guilt and grief. OMG, not only are you not changing the world as you had hoped, now you are guilty of one of the 7 Deadly Sins. Envy.Maybe you envy their position, progress in life, business, or ministry (yes, even ministers struggle with this). Possibly, it’s the scale and scope of their influence, their platform, that bothers you.But if you got a peek into their life, you would probably be surprised to discover that what looks so easy for them hasn’t always been easy. It may not even be easy right now.They have struggled with some of the same thoughts as you.If you have ever struggled with that, please know you are not alone. This does not have to be the way your story ends. Instead, it might just be the bridge you need to cross to the next chapter.[clickToTweet tweet="Don’t let a life-confining moment become a life-defining moment." quote="Don’t let a life-confining moment become a life-defining moment."]Let’s explore how life-confining events happen and how you can diffuse them so they don’t continue to confine or define you.Life-defining moments are events that establish or change the course of all that follows that event. Often, we hear people describe life-defining events as a single encounter or fortuitous event that changed everything that followed it.I recently heard Henry Winkler describe the defining moment of his life, the day he showed up for an audition just one week after moving to Hollywood with only $1,000 to his name.It was a casting call for a new television series. Henry wasn’t exactly what they were looking for; they envisioned someone much taller for the role. Winkler is only 5’6”, but as he auditioned for the role, he actually defined the role and was hired as Arthur Fonzarelli, better known as, Fonzie, for the 70s hit TV show, Happy Days.This life-defining moment came on the heels of a life-confining moment. Just a few weeks earlier, Winkler had been fired from a starring role in a play in Washington D.C. He was so dejected that he cried the whole drive from Washington, D.C. to New York. He could have let that rejection be the end of the road rather than a bend in the road. Instead, he packed his bags and headed for Hollywood and the rest is history, better yet, it is his story.

What are life-confining moments?

While they take different forms, life-confining moments are events that cause you to question your gifts, talents, abilities, or worth. They attach onto you like a leech that seeks to suck the life out of you or like a boa constrictor seeking to squeeze, or suffocate, your life.I see three major causes of life-confining moments — comparison, criticism, and conformity.

Comparison

Why can’t you be more like _________________?.Perhaps you followed in the footsteps of an older sibling who excelled in an area and you always lived in their shadow. Somewhere along the way you encountered an authority figure, a teacher, a coach, or parent who initiated the comparison and first asked, “Why can’t you be more like ______________?”Regardless of their motivation for asking, the effect is often the same. It locked you into a comparison, perhaps an unfair one. Rather than creating a sense of wonder, esteem and appreciation for you and your unique gifts, talents, and abilities, it prompted you to compare yourself with someone else.The net effect?You shrunk back. You withdrew. Rather than becoming more like your best self, you suppressed your true self and attempted to become more like the person to whom you were compared.Comparison robbed you of your unique identity and caused you to question your abilities and contribution.

Criticism

How could you be so _______________?It’s an attack on some aspect of your personality or performance that calls your entire worth and identity into question. Maybe you were called lazy, stupid, or dumb. Perhaps, like me, a teacher criticized your artistic or academic abilities leading you to internalize labels of “I’m not artistic”, “I’m not creative”, “I’m not smart” or whatever your limiting labels may be.I was reminded of this recently as I witnessed an unpleasant encounter. I overheard a father grilling his young son over some sort of failure earlier in the day on the athletic field.

“I can’t believe you did that. Do you know what an embarrassment you were out there today?”

Those words caught my ear. I glanced in the direction of the boy, who looked to be about 12. I watched as he squirmed in his seat. I saw him withdraw as his father continued his tirade.The father, seething with anger, continued to taunt his young son. “And another thing,…” at this point, the father was piling on one hateful, hurtful criticism after another.The boy continued to shrivel and shrink. My heart hurt.I wondered what incredible gifts, talents, and abilities this young prodigy really wanted to express. I prayed this harsh criticism not become a life confining moment in his life.That one event is seared into my memory. It’s probably the catalyst for this post. As much as I’d like to believe it was an isolated event, I know better. Too many parents have been poisoned and pass that poison along to their children.While I am tempted to judge that father, I am reminded to be compassionate towards him. Hurting people hurt people.What wound is that man carrying that causes him to perpetuate this cycle of criticism on his son? Who wounded him so deeply? What dreams were denied him? How might he find healing for his hurt and wholeness for his soul?I don’t know of anyone who is immune from criticism. The tragedy is when that criticism goes unchecked and causes people to shut down or cut off their true selves. Rather than becoming the best version of you, you can be, you sought to become someone or something else. Again, a life-confining moment.

Conformity

Conformity is another way your true self is confined. Sometimes conformity is an event, more often it is a response to an event or your way of dealing with comparison or criticism. Whatever its genesis, it too results in you suppressing your real self in attempts to please others or gain their approval.[clickToTweet tweet="Conformity kills authenticity! Don’t let it kill you." quote="Conformity kills authenticity! Don’t let it kill you."]Rather than fanning the flame of your uniqueness, you seek to fit the mold of what others have deemed acceptable or respectable. It’s just one more way that your life was confined. Instead of being the best you, you sought to imitate someone else.But deep inside you know, you are wired for originality. You know that what Oscar Wilde said is true, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”[clickToTweet tweet="We all encounter life-confining moments. No one gets a free pass. The difference is how u respond." quote="We all encounter life-confining moments. No one gets a free pass. The difference is how u respond."]Don’t allow life confining moments to be life defining moments. If you have been squeezed by comparison, criticism, or conformity, it’s time to break free. Break free to become who you are meant to be.

Here are four ways to transform life-confining moments:

Recognize those events for what they are. They are attempts to squelch and squash the real you and lead you to squander your gifts, talents, and abilities. Maybe they were prompted by pain, regrets, or jealousy. Regardless of the source or motivation, recognize that the comparisons or criticisms were illegitimate and determine to move on.Reframe your perception or understanding of what happened. Please note, I am not suggesting that you deny or excuse what happened. Rather, reframe those events, not as judgments about you, your abilities, or your worth. But recognize that the people who inflicted hurt upon you had been hurt themselves and did not deal with their own hurt in healthy ways and passed it on to you.Release them. In other words, forgive them. Find and extend grace to them for the hurt they inflicted on you. When you hold someone captive by not forgiving them, you are only imprisoning yourself. Free them and you!Rewrite the ending of your story. After all, your life IS your story and if you’re still alive, there’s time to rewrite the ending. Your life-confining moment is not the end of your story. It no longer needs to be your life-defining moment. Take action now and identify your gifts, talents, and abilities. Discover ways to become the best version of you, you can be. Find someone, better yet, some community where you belong, where people value and encourage you to give full expression to your fabulous self and make your unique contribution. If you are looking for a community check out the Living Your WHY community.We need you, the one and only you, and your contribution.

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What Will You Do With Your Superpowers?

If right now you could have any superpower possible, what would you choose?  Would you fly like Superman? Perhaps you would pick super strength like Hulk so you can move that car out of the parking place you want. Better yet, how awesome would it be to have the speed of The Flash so you don’t even need a car? Free your  imagination and envision what it would be like if only you could…Now, would you think me crazy to suggest that superpowers are real? I believe you do have a superpower. Actually, I believe we all have at least one superpower within our reach. Not exactly the kind of superpower of comic books and Marvel movies, but a real super power that makes you incredibly unique and gives you a competitive edge. Your superpower is connected to your WHY. The unique purpose for your existence. Whether you know it or not, you have a purpose. Zeroing in on your purpose not only sets the course for your life, it activates your superpower and enables you to accomplish more than others think humanly possible. You become a world changer. Here are five of my favorite Superpowers of WHY.

FOCUS

While focus is not quite like X-ray vision, it’s mighty close. Focus may not allow you to see through buildings, but it does allow you to cut through the clutter and find your way through the fog. Our world has more clutter than ever before.Here’s a small sampling of what happens every minute of the day on the Internet:

400 hours of new video are added to YouTube

350,000 Tweets

2.5 million likes of Instagram posts

4 million Facebook posts are liked (that’s nearly 6 Billion every day)

4 million Google searches

You can view the data here.

In addition to that, over 4 million texts are sent every minute in the US alone.And you wonder why you feel overwhelmed?Many people feel compelled to stay abreast of ALL of the current information. In today’s world, that’s impossible.[clickToTweet tweet="Want to unlock the superpower of FOCUS? Activate your WHY and you will." quote="When your WHY is activated, you discover an ability to focus. "]Suddenly you find the clutter clearing, the fog lifting, and you filter out the important from the trivial. No longer are you trying to stay on top of everything, but only those elements that are essential to your WHY. Your WHY serves as a filter that helps you focus on what matters most. To you.

MOTIVATION

Millions of people muddle their way through most of their life longing for what’s next. It  might be the next weekend so they can binge on their favorite sport, leisure activity, or entertainment option. Others eagerly await their next exotic vacation. Their lives are always lived in anticipation of what’s next, not what’s now.That’s no way to live. It illustrates what Gail Hyatt said,

People lose their way when they lose their why.

And when you’ve lost your why (or never discovered it in the first place), you zig and zag through life similar to the way a pinball bounces from one bumper to the next. Without your WHY, it’s easy to be aimless and listless. Activating your WHY establishes your direction and destination. Clarity about your direction and destination provide energy and excitement that get you up each morning with a sense of purpose and a meaning to the now as well as the next.[clickToTweet tweet="When you pair #focus and #motivation the sky’s the limit to what you will accomplish." quote="Talk about a dynamic duo -- when you pair focus and motivation the sky’s the limit to what you will accomplish."]

ATTRACTION

Several years ago before we lived in Atlanta, Gwen and I were driving through Atlanta and scanning radio stations. We stumble upon an interview where a guy named Philip was talking about SafeHouse Outreach, a newly formed nonprofit helping women escape sex trafficking. That conversation caught our attention and we were both deeply moved. I still remember looking at Gwen and saying, “I’ve got to meet that guy.” Why? Because his WHY pulled me into his orbit. I was captivated by his WHY and his passion for it. Fast forward a few years. By that time we had moved to Atlanta and one day my path and Philip’s crossed at a “chance” meeting. The attraction of that WHY pulled me as powerfully then as it had years earlier listening to that radio interview. I approached Philip to learn more about his WHY and his organization. Since that first meeting we’ve become great friends and collaborators. In that time, I’ve seen hundreds of people (and millions of dollars) attracted by the power of his WHY. It truly is a superpower.But Philip is not the only one with that superpower. I’ve observed it thousands of times in the 15 years that I’ve worked as a leadership consultant and coach. Leaders who possess a powerful WHY consistently attract the top talent, brightest minds, and abundant resources.[clickToTweet tweet="Your WHY shines like the beacon of a lighthouse and illuminates the way for others. " quote="Your WHY shines like the beacon of a lighthouse and illuminates the way for others. "] Attraction is indeed a superpower and it is even more powerful when it is coupled with connection. Attraction is indeed a superpower and it is even more powerful when it is coupled with connection.

CONNECTION

Today, perhaps more than ever, people long for connection. Genuine, authentic connection. The ability to form connections is a superpower, especially for those who can do it quickly. The language of WHY is a rich currency for establishing a connection with others -- especially those who resonate with your WHY. You see, WHY activates the limbic brain -- the portion of the brain that triggers responses where emotions and trust are also activated. It’s the principle of “deep calling unto deep.” When you are Living Your WHY and authentically communicating it to others, your WHY words penetrate to the limbic level (what we used to call the heart level). The people who share your WHY (your “tribe”) resonate with your WHY and your WHY words. That prompts them to lower their resistance and extend trust to you more easily and often instantly. As you continue to operate with high levels of trust and transparency, those connections will continue to grow. A quick survey of the current business landscape shows that some of the most powerful global brands have achieved that status because of their superpowers of attraction and connection around their WHY. Invest time perusing the organizations on the GameChangers 500 and you can explore how these companies are changing business by uniting commerce and purpose.

PERSEVERANCE

Some consider perseverance as the ultimate Superpower of WHY. It’s what Viktor Frankl experienced as a Jew imprisoned in the concentration camps of Nazi Germany in World War II. He was quoting Friedrich Nietzsche,

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how

but Frankl experienced this Superpower firsthand.Having a strong WHY is what enabled he and other POWs to endure unbelievably inhumane treatment and persecution.Here’s how Viktor Frankl described the power of WHY to persevere in Man’s Search for Meaning.

“Whenever there was an opportunity for it, one had to give them a why— an aim— for their lives, in order to strengthen them to bear the terrible how of their existence. Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no point in carrying on. He was soon lost.” Man's Search for Meaning (p. 76). Beacon Press. 

Persevering through all kinds of hardships, difficulties, and especially cruelties is indeed a Superpower.

What Will You Do with Your Superpowers?

Which of these superpowers do you want to activate in your life? Want to team up with others who are harnessing their superpowers for good? Living Your WHY is one such place -- you might think of it as kind of like the Justice League. Join forces with us here and let's see how much good we can do together. To get updates on blog posts and all things Living Your Why subscribe here: [convertkit form=4898348]